Your thoughts spelled out in ABC's...

Over "On the Road to DeMask Us", I saw a very simple blog that really got me thinking.  Go check out her blog and read about the ABCs...then come back and check mine out!

Always ask questions.
Be aware that your priorities aren't always the same as others.
Control the need to complain.
Dive head first into something you love, regardless of your fear.
Evolve your habits so that they work best for what YOU need/want.
Fight for what you believe in.
Give generously.
Have an open mind regarding ALL topics, even if you don't agree.
Issues always work themselves out
Jokes can heal most wounds.
Know that you are never, ever alone.
Listen to others.
Make time to say "I Love You" even when you're angry.
No matter what, love with every ounce of yourself.
Organize you thoughts before speaking.
Put others first.
Quit worrying about what's to come and instead focus on the now.
Relax and enjoy the journey.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Take advantage of the time you have and what you can do with it.
Understand you have more than you need and that those needs are enough.
Vindictiveness solves nothing; act kind instead.
Wake up happy, glad to be living for one more day.
Xanadu is what you make it.
Your attitude affects more than you think.
the Zenith of a friendship all depends on how much you want it.

Do YOU have a list of ABC's you think others could benefit from?

When the universe talks, you should listen

This week has been interesting....It has been full of inconveniences, emptying of my wallet where I'd rather not have, month end at work, health scares, and having hardly any time to spend with my boo.

Now this may sound like complaining.  I'm not.  These are just the facts.

Yet, instead of being super bummed out or sad or very frustrated (like I normally get when these kind of days/weeks go down) I have felt humbled.

Has this week been frustrating, anxiety filled, sad, lonely? Yes, but everything has worked out.  I mean, everything always works out but this time it all worked out within the day the issue was happening.

And that never happens to me.

It's off-putting to say the least.

But I'm glad.

The universe was speaking to me this week, I think.  It said "Listen...we're gonna throw some inconveniences and such your way this week...but understand that I've got your back and you just need to recognize that."

And I did.

For example:  I woke up yesterday with a flat tire. BOO.  I waited on roadside assistance to put on my spare so I could get a new tire.  Turns out, I needed 2 new tires.  BOO.  Because of said tire incident I was 2.5 hours late to work and $260 poorer. BOO.  Yesterday was month end (which means end of deadlines) and month end (meaning rent was due.) BOO.

But here's what the universe did for me to make up for this irksome event (and believe me: this is one of many events like this that have happened this week.)  It said "Hey, since you booked 2 trips yesterday (paying $620) I'm gonna flatten your tire.  Not fun...but since you got 3 paychecks instead of 2 this month AND your bills are all paid I'm gonna go ahead and take care of that car problem.  Silly Jordan, you need to be safe on the road!  Good thing you booked the trips AND got new tires, right?  Sorry (not sorry) about you wanting to spend that money willy-nilly."

Weird, right?

They say timing is everything and I think I'm just starting to believe it.  This 3rd paycheck I had planned on getting some new summer clothes, helping D with his trip in 2 weeks, etceteras.  The universe had other plans instead BUT...I guess I can't blame it when it's just looking out for my safety, right?  It's nice to be humbled every now and again.

Now go outside and look up.  Enjoy the vastness that you're a part of because I know I will.

Happy Saturday!

100 things to be HAPPY about

I had a rough night.  I've had anxiety flair up like crazy this week and it seemed to almost spill over last night.  Thankfully, after some tears, lots of reassurance from my boo, and some sleep I am feeling a bit better.  Der was really helping me put different things in perspective so in honor of him I'm listing (in no particular order) 100 things to be happy about (at least according to me.)

1. The Bee Gees
2. Click-clacking keyboards
3. Literacy
4. Soft baby skin
5. The smell of puppies
6. Mugs almost too hot to hold
7. Turning book pages
8. Finding money in pockets
9. Taking your time in the rain
10. A good base line in music
11. Secrets told in a whisper
12. Uncontained giggles
13. The crinkle of opening a letter
14. A stout margarita
15. Campfires
16. Fire engine red lipstick
17. Colorful paperclips
18. An A+
19. Putting on your costume in first dress
20. Good lookin cleavage
21. Palm trees
22. Finding sand in your shoes months later
23. Chocolaters
24. Budding flowers
25. Sweat pants
26. Making funny faces
27. Tears being wiped away
28. Writing that first sentence
29. Sloshing in rain puddles barefoot
30. The queen bee
31. Trying to pick your favorite Disney princess
32. Ruffles
33. The feeling of silk on you booty
34. Nature's conversations
35. Banana pudding
36. The Doors
37. Walks
38. Rustic mail keys
39. Homemade milkshakes
40. The color green
41. Paris
42. Phone calls from Dad
43. Roller coasters
44. Hot queso dip
45. Accordion melodies
46. Harps
47. Children's swim floaties
48. The relaxed pace of whales
49. The smell of a library
50. Fresh strawberries sprinkled with white sugar
51. Sex
52. Paid time off
53. Planning the future
54. The first day of school
55. The first day of rehearsal
56. Star gazing
57. Southern steam
58. Baby bumps
59. Flirty text messages
60. Coming home to candlelight
61. A fresh coat of paint
62. Repairing something that was broken
63. Gnarled, elderly hands
64. Oodles of facial wrinkles
65. Whipped cream
66. The smell of on-the-line laundry
67. Overwhelming flowers
68. Ice cream cake
69. Breaking a good sweat
70. Braids
71. Getting a paycheck
72. Volunteering
73. Smoky eye liner
74. Intelligent women
75. Glasses
76. A great manicure
77. Iron gates
78. An unintentional smile
79. Holding on to memories
80. Forgetting yourself in a play
81. Dr. Spencer Reid
82. Tequila shots and scrunched noses from the salt
83. Hugs from animals
84. Over sized sweaters
85. The flinch of a tattoo starting
86. Girls night
87. Camping
88. Fred & George Weasley
89. The sunset
90. Getting knocked down by waves
91. The mushy feeling of a grape
92. Driving with the windows down and the music turned up loud
93. A good slow dance
94. Saying "I do"
95. Holding hands with your mom
96. Seeking advice from your best friend(s)
97. The ballet
98. Overalls
99. Grandfather clocks
100. Navigating your path


Ahhhhhhhhhh, now THAT feels better.  Sometimes when things start dragging you down it's nice to really LOOK, LISTEN, TOUCH, TASTE, SMELL life instead of just carrying it around or ignoring it completely.

What are some things that make YOU happy?

May is here!

This year, I have a feeling May will be pretty spectacular and my favorite month.  Why you may ask?

Because...

-The weather is GORGEOUS
-My birthday is tomorrow & I'm celebrating
-of Cinco de Mayo (and my favorite drink...margaritas!)
-I'll get 4.5 days of visiting my old home with my best friend, her hubby, and visiting my family
- We will be celebrating 3 years of marriage to Boo
-The pool opens up
-Everything is in bloom
-Mentalities are more optimistic
-I get PTO from work for Memorial Day
-Wearing shorts will happen more
-I get to prep for summer
-I'll be booking trips to Hawaii and Connecticut
-of bare feet
-of long dog walks
-I'll be prepping for research
-I WILL write on the porch
-Lots of laughter is sure to come my way
-Tons of pictures will be taken

What's not to love?!?!

What do you have planned this month?

Recycling-Part I: Knowing Your Products

     As I stated in my 101 blog, part I will be about getting to know your products.  This includes what you buy, what it comes in, and how it impacts your daily living and (more importantly) the earth.  Sometimes I'm astounded by how small and intricate some things (like plastic or cardboard) are involved in products.  Now that doesn't mean you have to get down into the inner workings of everything you touch (although it doesn't hurt I'm sure...) but it should really let you see just how much of this stuff we use all of the time and how it gets tossed away...NEVER to leave the earth again.  It gets tossed in a landfill, tossed out the car window, tossed out in space (is that really a thing?!).  Tossed, tossed, tossed!

Okay so, what products should be recycled you ask?  Here is a quick list to get you started:

Aerosol cans containing no propellant or material

Aluminum: Cans and clean foil

Beverage and food containers: Clean glass, steel, and tin

Mixed paper: White writing paper and stationery Tablet paper and tablet cardboard White and colored copy paper Computer paper (green and blue bar) Colored triplicate forms Sticky notes Paper wrappers Magazines Newspaper Blueprint paper All envelopes Junk mail Telephone books Paperback books Manila folders Boxboard (e.g., cracker or cereal boxes) Corrugated cardboard

Plastic bottles or containers with a #1-7 recycling symbol on the bottom (rigid plastic only, not plastic film)

Molded Styrofoam packaging

(source)

     There are other products like batteries, paint, toner cartridges, and more that can still be recycled although the methods are a bit different due to the chemicals involved.  Check with your local centers to see what their practices are and what they do/do not take (more about that in part II.)

     When I read this list here are just a few of the (thousands of) products that come to mind here in our household:

-junk mail

-shampoo and/or body wash bottles (look on the bottom to find the number)

-soda cans (or in our case now-V8 cans)

-milk jugs

-pasta sauce jars

-printer paper (thesis drafts anyone?!)

-bug spray canisters (or hairspray)

-cereal boxes (boxboard)

-make-up containers (foundation-glass/plastic, eye pallets-plastic)

-mail packages (corrugated cardboard)

     In our house I've noticed that we have a LOT of cardboard...like a ton.  It comes on everything!  Due to this, we've tried to get products that have less of it BUT aren't willing to trade it for packaging that is going to be trash.  It's a hit or miss sometimes but worth the time to look for alternatives.

You should not recycle the following (amongst others):

-plastic film (think DVD packaging)

-Styrofoam

-trash

-tissue/paper towels

-plastic bags (think grocery bags)

-tires

-medical products

-diapers

Although these products cannot be recycled, some can be replaced or revamped.  For example: a lot of food considered trash can be composted as mulch for a garden.  Or you can make/buy some cloth grocery bags to skip getting plastic ones altogether.  You can often donate tires to car junk yards (if they're in decent shape) as well as other car parts for scrap metal.  Again, check with your local center about what is/is not acceptable to recycle there.

     I ask you, dear reader, to spend 1 month noting what products you buy, what they come in, and what you can recycle from it.  It's a bit time consuming to start but WORTH IT.  You notice just how much we waste on a lot of temporary products.  I can promise you'll be astounded!  I'd suggest if you're just starting out to take inventory of what you notice you're throwing away the most.  Like I stated, I had no idea just how much cardboard we were tossing away until I really started to pay attention.  Now I can't turn it off and am SO glad we're recycling a lot more of it now!

So lovelies, do some research.  Take part in recycling, not as a movement but as a lifestyle change.  It's a pretty painless process and has SO many benefits.  I promise it will be worth it!

Recycling 101 (An Introduction)

     I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family that recycle(s/d).  My mom married my (ex) stepdad when I was only 5 so from 5-12 I was exposed to and taught a lot about recycling.  In that house we recycled:

Cans (soda and beer)

Glass (bottles)

Cardboard (from cereal boxes, etc.)

Mixed paper (letters, mail, etc.)

Plastic (milk jugs, soda bottles, etc.)

Magazines and Newspapers

     My stepdad made this neat spot in our pantry where it all went.  We had 6 LARGE tupperware bins placed on a homemade shelf and we just stuck the appropriate product in the correct bin.  Easy!  Although they divorced, his habits rolled over and my mom, my sister, and myself still practice recycling.  I'm super glad about that!
     As silly as it may sound, I also remember Nickelodeon having a large impact on my views towards recycling, water conservation, and animal care.  Back in the 1990s I remember a lot of television, books, and discussions regarding being earth conscious and "green" (although I don't remember it being such a movement until the mid 2000s).  I'm so glad for this!
     Both of these things have had a huge impact on my daily living and practices.  I am glad that I have also rubbed off on Derrick and that he is fine with these practices as well because frankly, I don't want to budge on it.

If you're a newbie to recycling, may I suggest a few things first?

1) Get to know your products (part I).  Know: what you buy, what it comes in, and how it impacts your daily living and (more importantly) the earth.

2) Take note (for about a month) of how often you're throwing "trash" away and what you're actually throwing out...you'd be ASTOUNDED to see how very wasteful we are (as a nation and as individuals)!

3) Look for your local recycle centers/pickups for your town.  Recycling has become a lot less stressful with the green movements that really came about in the 2000s.  There is curbside pickup (just like your trash), centers for drop off, and some centers for cash exchange (namely cans and metals).

4) Understand where to recycle what (part II) and why it's important.

5) Once you're feeling comfortable...EDUCATE! Teach your friends, family, children, co-workers basic recycling practices that can really make a huge impact.

     This means that in working towards my yearly goal of going green(er) and continuing and expanding the patterns we've developed in our habits, I will be setting up our own little recycle depot in our hall closet.  I'm super excited about it!  I've got to relearn some of my products and disposal practices and teach Derrick about them but I think it's totally worth it.  So check back for part I where I will be discussing what products are and are not right for recycling.  In part II, I'll be discussing what should be recycled where and the actual impact recycling has on your home, your community, and your world!  Part III will be how to upcycle-recycling things in your home to become newer/different things without having to take them to a center, look at labels, etc.

Are you ready to greenify your living practices?!  Because I promise:  once you get in the habit of recycling it becomes easy-peasy and you'll really notice a difference!

Growth

I sit back and am overwhelmed by how much I have grown.  For that, I am glad.

I am glad I have overcome much of my earlier narrowmindedness,
glad I have grown into a real love with my spouse,
glad I have grown into my own beliefs and morals,
glad I have worked hard,
glad I have grown to love donating and helping people,
glad I feel more comfortable about what I want to do with my life,
glad I have learned SO much, which (obviously) helped me grow leaps and bounds,
glad I have worked to accept myself more for who I am and what I want to be,
glad I have met some people who have changed me for the better,
glad I have continued growth and passion for literature and writing,
glad I have a place to call home, where my growth can form at its own pace,
glad I have a family who nurtures my growth and path,
glad I have recognized many of my weaknesses and want to work on a lot of them,
glad I have undergone such metamorphosis with some truly incredible people alongside me,
glad I have grown-up, down, in, and out.

I am so proud of myself and SO excited to grow more.

30 Days of Thanks

I'm jumping on the band wagon I suppose, putting what I'm thankful for in writing for 30 days.  While I'm not TOO keen on the idea (because we should be doing this anyway), I'm on board.  These will be brief because I'm sure I've blogged about most of them before.  Please note-I wrote these out daily, not just in a big swoop so there was a daily reflection regarding each and every one.

11-1: I am thankful for a supportive professor (Dr. Aday) who has helped me so much in my grad. school path.
11-2: I am thankful that my thesis is FINALLY done and its process is over.
11-3: I am thankful for getting to wake up everyday with Der by my side AND having this Saturday morning to drink coffee and watch movies.
11-4: I am thankful for two great people (Mairi and Kriss) who lent us their vacuum and steam cleaner.  Not only does our carpet look a HELL of a lot better but this will also help my allergies!
11-5: I am thankful for Diet Dr. Pepper that has kept me up when I want to fall asleep.
11-6: I am thankful I was able to vote! It was my first time and I found it kind of special to see everyone come together for the day to make their voices heard.
11-7: I am thankful for a library card.  Since my funds are low and I won't get to see my family until December, I went to the library and was able to check out some pretty awesome books to read in November.  SCORE!
11-8: I am thankful for seeing some theater.  I've been missing out lately and it was so nice to see a show again!
11-9: I am thankful for having a job interview (finally) AND I am thankful for a nice date with my husband.
11-10: I am thankful for being able to watch my awesome nephews-by-non-blood, Andrew and Dylan.
11-11: I am thankful for the military persons who have served, continue to serve, want to serve to help protect the U.S.
11-12: I am thankful for being literate.  With my (obsessive) adoration for books and learning, I am SO thankful I had parents and teachers who taught me how to read!
11-13: I am thankful for Mexican lunch with a friend (Kadi).
11-14: I am thankful for crafting with a good friend (Amanda), making gifts for Christmas.
11-15: I am thankful for having time to relax when I wasn't feeling so great.
11-16: I am thankful for having a working and reliable car.  It is quite a good one!
11-17: I am thankful for a having two hands, both of which work properly.
11-18: I am thankful for a spouse who works while I am still searching for a job.
11-19: I am thankful for hopes of a future job.
11-20: I am thankful for a successful interview AND an awesome class with some awesome folks.
11-21: I am thankful that my family loves and cares for my spouse like he is their own.
11-22: I am thankful for food in my belly and the funds to be able to provide that food.
11-23: I am thankful for the home we have. It's so nice to have a place to call home.
11-24: I am thankful for old musicals that make me tap my feet and cry from sweet lyrics.
11-25: I am thankful that it seems I just have sinus drainage instead of strep throat!
11-26: I am thankful, despite the bad headache I've had, for a good day.
11-27: I am thankful for a humbling class, where we discussed tough topics like female genital mutilation, feticide, and such. I am thankful that I have not had to go through (by force or by choice) this type of thing.
11-28: I am thankful for the one hour of glorious massage, where the stress of not having a job and ending my grad. school career was worked out of my body.
11-29: I am thankful for time to reflect.
11-30: I am thankful that my mom and sister are coming up tomorrow to visit and Christmas shop! I miss them both so much and can't wait!

So there ya go.  30 days of things I am thankful for.  Remember to reflect on what you're thankful for every day and maybe write them down once and a while!

I haven't been meaning to neglect you...

...but I've been in a whirlwind of emotion and stress lately.  Let me catch you up:

*I was let go of my job 5 weeks ago.  While it was pretty hard for me it has provided me with the adequate time needed to really focus on my last semester of graduate school.  That being said, stress regarding finances and what I'm going to do after December is pretty high at the moment.

*I have stopped taking birth control.  It may not seem like that big of a deal but after being on some form of BC for 10 years, my body is trying to synch back up to normal and my hormones are WAY out of whack.  I did not go off so we could have a kid.  We are using other methods of contraception-just nothing based in hormones and chemicals.  So I've got a sour stomach, super depressy hormons etc. that I'm trying to deal with

*I am trying to finish my thesis.  Like I said: I am fortunate to NOT have a job right now so I can focus on this but I am still stressing out.  I'm putting so much pressure on myself that I get sick daily (this was happening before I went off BC).  The worst that will happen is that on PAPER I won't graduate until May 2013 and I'll have to pay $450 for 1 credit hour next semester.  Regardless, my classes will be done so I can get a full time job, have insurance, and benefits again (and DUH-money)!

*I have gone meatless for the month of October.  While it's really neat (and saving me money in not buying fast food) it's probably bad timing, lol.  I plan on writing a massive blog after day 31 with details, tips, stuggles and accomplishments I've found in this diet.


I don't know if I'm stressing out so much because I'm so close or because I am constantly thinking about getting a job in this horrible job market....

I by NO means am busier than my fellow grads and professors.  I am amazed and oftentimes intimidated by how much they (and by they I USUALLY mean we) can fit into schedules.  I used to be one of those people and as of late...I just suck at it!  I think it's because I miss routine and I miss being busy.

I will say graduate school has thus far been the hardest thing I've ever done (with the exception of this thesis...THAT'S the hardest)!  It's kind of awesome but still hard.  I have put more tears, hard work, time, and energy into these past 2 years than I have in pretty much anything else (besides my marriage-I work on that daily =])

I think I'm just ready.  Ready for a break from school, ready to work again, ready to explore options for a Ph. D program, ready to potentially move and start a new chapter of my life.

Ah well.  Luck, prayers, good thoughts, etc. are welcome this way if you feel so inclined.  I'll take it!

Sometimes

Sometimes, it's really hard for me to see the good in things.

Sometimes, it's really hard for me to forgive.

Sometimes, it's really hard for be to be grateful.

Sometimes, I want to throw in the towel and just mope.

Sometimes, I don't see a bright future, only pain and fear.

Sometimes, I say hurtful things to those I care about.

But you know what?

This is only sometimes.

I work EVERY DAY to see the bright side, to realize that my petty problems are just that-petty.  Although sometimes I fail, I pick myself back up and consciously try to make those around me (including myself) happy, peaceful, aware.

I admit defeat.  I admit I have issues and faults but damn it, I admit that I TRY!

Sometimes, I just really need to get guilt off of my chest and realize that I try and trying is such a wonderful, wonderful thing.

A slice of good and a slice of bad

Okay the bad.

I did not have a great day...in fact I've had a rather not-so-great week thus far...and instead of going to key the rest of my thesis data in (like I should) this evening I plan on drinking a margarita, finishing my book, and taking a bath.  A long, hot bath.  I need to relax, to shift perspectives, to look at the good.  I have such an amazing life that sometimes my first world problems piss me off so much that I then start smiling, realizing just how wonderful my problems truly are!

It's a great problem to have to know that you don't have the money to get crappy fast food because your kitchen is stocked full of more nutritious and serving appropriate.  It's nice to know that I have a job to go to where I am good at what I do and usually get along with the staff, regardless of how much sometimes it frustrates me.  It's good to know that I have concerns about my future because I've been working SO HARD for it, especially regarding my Masters.  I've got a lot of good.  Which always makes up for a bad day.

And on that note...

I have started writing again!  It's slowly coming back but coming just the same and that makes me H-A-P-P-Y!  Hopefully something will actually come from it but we'll see.  This is so good.

So I'll take my slice of both bad and good and let them lie today. I'd rather have the rest of the evening be thoughtless and neutral.

Tomorrow is a new day, with fresh breath, bright lights, and new thoughts.  There's nothing better than knowing that, right?

My Saturdays

My Saturdays are precious to me.  With the rest of my week pulling for both my time and patience, my Saturdays are designed to have nothing to do with any of that. There are the rare occasions when I have to work for a few hours or catch up on some homework but usually it is all mine.

Glorious.

Let me explain my normal week to you. Please note that these are the big things that happen every week. So many other important, albeit small details pop up every week and they are not to be ignored.  I am by no means saying I have a more busy schedule than anyone else I know but for my life, it can sometimes get a little crazy:

Sundays are usually reserved for homework, house cleaning, and laundry.  Other tasks may join this day like a lunch out or morning reading but the majority of my Sunday is taken up with prepping for the upcoming week and making sure all of my school tasks are done or close to being completed.

Mondays are work days.  I usually work from 7 am to 5:30 pm without an official lunch so I don't have to come in on weekends if possible.  I come home, sometimes cook dinner, and finish any GA stuff I need to for the following day.

Tuesdays I am on campus starting anytime between 7:00 am to 9 am.  I am getting project stuff ready for my professor, working on my thesis stuff or getting things together for his classes.  I sometimes leave between noon and 1 but then I run my errands, go to appointments, etc..  I get home, tidy up a bit, watch a little t.v. and then prep for the following day.  Not so crazy of a day but mentally draining bouncing from school idea to school idea and then making sure I've got the bills I need to pay or my co-pay check ready or my grocery list with me before I delve into other tasks.

Wednesday is another work day but I also have class in the evenings.  I work from 7 am to approximately 4:30 without a lunch so I can get to campus a wee bit before my class which starts at 5:45 to get situated, ask questions, eat, etc..  Go home and get books and such together for the following day.

Thursday is pretty much the same as my Tuesday except usually on Thursday evenings I get legitimate time to spend with my husband and pup.  Bonus!  I also try to catch up on a few missed t.v. shows if time allots between chores and errands.

Friday is a pretty good day. Another long work day (like Monday) but it's usually more laid back and I know that when 5:30 hits my weekend has officially begun!

And then comes my favorite day-Saturday.

My usual Saturdays are something like this:
Wake up without an alarm-feed pup-take pup to potty-make coffee-either read or catch up on missed t.v. shows from the week-take shower and pamper myself (pampering consisting of shaving, body scrubs, hot hot water, smelly good stuff, feet scrubs, and smelly good lotions).  Usually after my shower my time can go in 1 of 2 different directions. Either:  1-get in clean PJ's, read, and do nothing of real importance all day or 2-get dolled up, go out (whether to do something or not) and enjoy the day doing whatever I want whenever I want to do it.  Since Der usually has to work on Saturdays I make it all about me.  On some Sunday evenings we get time together, which is a real treat, so I don't feel bad being so self-absorbed on Saturdays.

Either way my Saturday usually have no deadlines, no time constraints, no pressure and no pulling.  Sometimes I go get a manicure and do a little shopping.  Sometimes I get my hair done and read a good book.  Sometimes I do nothing except sit on the couch all day watching television and eating junk food.

The point is-this time is precious and too wonderful to be ignored.

My Saturday today has thus far been awesome and as I was in the shower, it truly hit me just how amazing it is that I'm allowing myself to have this day to do whatever.  It may sound silly but it's mentally refreshing to know that I am consciously taking a break in my busy life to enjoy my busy life.  It makes me more appreciative, more humble, and more happy.  Bonus points for this adding to my goal of working on my mental and emotional health.  These days do WONDERS for me.

So cheers to another delightful Saturday-I hope your day is just as awesome.

What are your plans for the day?

My February

Well well! It's my first post in February...which is weird considering it's a little more than a week from being over.

What have I been up to you may ask?  School-work-family-love.  Pretty much same ol', same ol' but it's been a busy and good month.

Regarding school: I am getting my thesis together in its early stages.  I plan on using Spring Break to tweak my literature and methods more but I feel comfortable with it and after my first pilot survey being a success (with another one coming in 1 week) and a pre-proposal committee meeting, I am content with where it stands.  After Spring Break I'll have to rush to get the proposal defended and submitted to the Internal Review Board (IRB).  From there hopefully I'll have it back before I go to my conference at the beginning of April.  Then after I get back from said conference I'll actually gather my data and have the whole summer to analyze and work on it (which saves me a TON of time and headache).  It's been a good (and quick!) semester so far.  With 2 weeks until Spring Break it really seems to have flown by so far.  I'm assigned my take home mid-term next week so that will really determine where I stand in my PE class so far this semester.  I am slowly working on my class' final project (starting the first week of school) but it was been a mess and is much more tedious than I had anticipated.  Still, here's to hoping that it will sort itself out and I'll have time over Spring Break to actually hone in on what I need to do and really hanker down with details.

Work: has been about the same.  Since my schedule is about every other day now, it's kind of nice having a small break from the pace of it but I really do enjoy the routines my work brings about for me.  Pretty steady and organized from my OCD stand point =]  We're having a Mardi Gras party on Wednesday so I'm sure it will (as always) be a success!

Family: I went to Chattanooga a couple of weekends ago to see my mom's show and check out my sisters progress with their new house.  It was SO much fun, much needed and I already miss it (like always).  I also realized that my allergies had more than acted up causing some kind of sinus infection-I felt miserable in Chattanooga and came home feeling no better.  So I headed to the MD and got some meds and drops that dramatically helped me feel better...although I think I may have given it to D =\

Love: As many of you know, Valentine's Day comes in February.  I am no big fan of Valentine's Day. Here's the thing: I've never had a bad Valentine's Day (single or in a relationship) but I just don't really care about the hype.  I guess the only reason I attempt to like it is that I get another excuse to have fun and spend quality time with the one I love. Which this year, we really did! Derrick made us shrimp scampi for dinner, bought me white roses and chocolate covered strawberries.  I got him a shirt and tie (very similar to items he's been eyeing for a few months now) and we enjoyed each others company with laughing, cooking together, relaxing, and such.  I've also been able to spend more time with him (and Tuck) in general lately which has been great for both my person and my spirit.  I was not able to go to Dylan's 2nd birthday this year (which I think is the first time ever I've been a no-show as an aunt to an event) but hopefully I can make it up by seeing Kelly for her birthday (which is today!)  My fingers are crossed.

So there you have it-what may seem like a dismal February has been quite busy yet fun!

I have a feeling March will fly by and then it's on to April and May...probably the busiest months I'll have in 2012.  April and May are going to be insane for me.  Let me explain: April 4-8 San Diego for conference, April 9-30 continue with class(es) and gather thesis data whilst working my other job and GAing.  At some point at the start of April I need to register for classes.  Project due April 25 and final due by May 3rd.  May 2nd is my birthday.  May 4-12 we're going to Hawaii (more on that later!) and then May 13th is my wedding anniversary.  Starting May 14th-June 1st I've got a summer course on serial killers for 3 JAM PACKED weeks.  So there you have it-on paper it may not seem like a lot but so much leg work is going to go into those months...I may be dead come June, lol!

I hope your month has been amazing.  Make sure it is-do something to make yourself smile.

XOXO,
J

Tired

**Warning: I'm expressing my own beliefs and if you find them offensive-that's unfortunate.  My goal is not to offend, however it is to speak my mind.**

I am tired of ignorance.

I am tired of always hearing people regurgitate information and beliefs without thought behind them.

I am tired of always keeping my mouth closed out of respect for other opinions when others do not have the same courtesy for me and mine.

I am tired of having people make others out like bad guys or inferior simply because their thoughts do not mesh together.

I am tired of politics.  I am tired of religion.  I am tired of disagreement about differences.

I am tired of holding things in when they should be let out.

I am tired of thinking about others needs and well wishes when it do not seem to be reciprocated.

I am tired.

I wish for peace.  I dream of peace.  I hope for peace.

That is my belief, my politic.  Peace.

I want freedom, laughter, enlightenment and understanding for everyone.

There are so many things I do not agree with but I do agree with personal choice, equal rights and the simplicity of empathy and understanding.  To me, it does not matter. 

There are always reasons (or should be) behind why someone believes what they do or acts a certain way.  For example: many serial killers kill (in part) because there is a certain section in their brain where sympathy, understanding, and compassion are not present or "activated" appropriately.  Now I know that may seem far-fetched for an example but after killing 15 people, many would believe this killer deserves to get the death penalty.  But does s/he?  In my opinion: the understanding of the people-the society-need further broadening to truly answer that question.  On a personal level, I could never hold the job of knowing day-to-day that I am putting a needle in someones arm and consciously taking a life.  But, in the same sense, I do not know what many of these killers do...because I do hold certain prejudices against some crimes over the other (though I know I should not) and may not give it a seconds thought.  It's all about perspective and circumstance, though in many cases it should not be.

I think the biggest problem in all of this is that so many do not care to find the reasons behind the argument and instead take the issue to heart.  While so many of these issues are important (rape, abortion, welfare, education) the reasoning why rape is being blamed on women's dress instead of predators behavior or why many teens feel like abortion is their only option or why so many children are having to low test scores on examinations are where the focus actually lies. 

Why?

Do you know why you believe what you do?  Regarding any subject:  Religion, Politics, Same-Sex Marriage, Abortion, Work Ethics, Educational Setbacks, Welfare, Tax Breaks, Corporate reform...the list goes on and on.

Do you know why you believe in certain issues and not others?  And the age old "because it's wrong" or "because the Bible tells me so" or "because that is what I was taught" or "because this is the only way" or "because I'm smarter than so-and-so" are all insufficient answers to me.  This takes responsibility off the individual and tries to place blame on a societal function when clearly many of the functions in themselves are warped, diluted, and corrupted (a whole new issue in itself).

So my remedy?  E.D.U.C.A.T.E.  Learn, learn, learn.  Research, get other viewpoints, read opposing and agreeing media!  You've got to know all sides to make a thoughtful and just view on things. 

Now I am just as guilty as the next person with taking something to heart or jumping the gun on an issue or stating my opinion when a conclusion has yet to be reached.  But it's something I am working on and hope to constantly and consciously work on throughout my lifetime.  There a quite a few issues I have on my plate that I really need to sit down and focus and research more why I feel/believe what I do.

One awesome example: today I posted a photo on my facebook.  It sparked some conversation but what I liked about the convo. was that it was pretty peaceful, everything seemed to have thought into it and it was not just "that's mean" or "you're wrong".  I had a few people on opposing sides, as is often the case with someone in my situation, but everything seemed just and decent.  Which was awesome! I never mind opposing view points...as long as there is no superiority complex trying to be shown or angry rants about certain beliefs.  A well placed, thought out, and equal debate on any subject works just fine for me! Calling someone ignorant or wrong out of spite, anger or confusion seems unjustified and petty...and I want us all to be better about it.

So I propose to you: really sit down and think about why you think or believe in a specific something.  If you're anything like me, you've got both or more sides of so many issues that it is hard to fully invest in one position or another.  But that's okay!  There is no need to always "pick" a side to stay on.

The book I am currently reading "Walking on Broken Glass" by Christa Allen deals with a lead female character who is in rehab.  She is involved in the A.A. program.  While I don't fully agree with all of the A.A. teachings, I dowonderful things to teach individuals, in this type of life-altering setting as well as in everyday life.


Are you these three things? I know I try to be at all times though many times I fail at one or more of them.

I am not trying to come off as preachy but I just want peace, for everyone, for always...and I think one of the ways to achieve it is through understanding, education and respect for one another.

YOU dear reader, I respect you and am so very glad to know you, even in the virtual sense.  Many of you have different view points (I am sure) regarding a multitude of things but I am glad we can come together in this virtual world to discuss so many issues ranging in the crucial to the mundane and still at the end of the day respect one another for having personal choices, guidance and understanding.

Thank you and please, share the love. <3

New Years Resolutions-Year End Recap!

Well well: looks like 2011 has come and gone and it went by so fast! I miss (most of) it already!  Remember when I made my 2011 resolutions alongside my monthly goals?  Let's see what I actually got done this year!

1) Donate more-whether it's money, clothes, time I want to do more of it. According to Der I get "donation binges" where I tear our home upside down and inside out ridding of things we no longer need/want and give them to some that do. No harm in it and I like it. I totally did this! I got rid of/gave a lot of clothes, energy, dishes, supplies, money, support, and time this year-all donating to friends, shelters, family, the community, etc.  It's very humbling and rewarding to help others and to continue to de-clutter my home.


2) Stay healthy, hopefully slimming a bit in the process. I have no real reason not to and if you read this blog you'll know what I mean. Well...I was doing well...until this summer and especially this fall with school.  A main goal for 2012 is to re-vamp all of my health stuff so we'll see what actually transpires.

3) Do well in school. I always have and don't plan on stopping. I did =]  I could have done a tad bit better but considering-I am proud.

4) Travel more-this is a big one because Der and I both love to travel. Whether we go to Florida to see the in-laws and/or Disney World, California to see Patrick and/or Der's grandparents, or Chicago (just because I really wanna go) I want to get more traveling under my belt in 2011. The only place travel won't count is to Chattanooga since I go there all of the time. Travel I/we did! We went on The Delta Queen (though I know I said I wouldn't count Chattanooga...this only counts because it is a traveling hotel that happened to be docked in Chatt. and is pretty awesome), enjoyed a little time in The Smokies, I visited my family in Oklahoma, learned a bit about Jack Daniels in Lynchburg, and checked out one of my favorite cities with my hubs!  May not be too much (or too far) for some but it was enough to get excited about and close enough that it wasn't a fortune!  I definitely want this to be another goal for 2012 (and hopefully it will be complete too!)

5) Read more-I think when I get a Kindle this may be a bit easier. Now don't get me wrong: I love a good library smelling book as much as the next person but carrying 20 books in my over-the-shoulder tote doesn't seem to make sense for my shoulders or for purpose sake. So, with the Kindle I can lightly carry around the classics (not to mention my school books) for traveling and class sake. Psssh-I ROCKED this goal! I read 35 books that were not school related!  This includes e-books (via my Kindle) and hard copies. I won't lie-this is pretty cool and something I totally want to carry over into 2012 (and every year!)



6) A photo a day project: if you're linked with me on Facebook.com, I am hoping to do a project where I take a photo a day and talk about it-traversing my year in 2011 through photos. Once I get a real camera this will be made much much easier but until then, crappy cell phone pics will have to do. 1 down, 364 to go! Oh I totally failed this, ha ha! I did about 60ish days and then just plum forgot!

7) Finish Raley home. We've lived here almost 8 months and everything isn't finished-in part due to finances, in part due to forgetfulness, lol. I want everything completed by the summer if possible, but by Dec. 31 2011 at the latest. Well-This is kind of done, LOL. The bedroom still needs some work but the rest of the place is pretty much complete!  I need to post pics....

8) Go to at least 1 concert. I'm not really concerned as to whom I'm seeing but I want to see at least one. I don't think 2010 had any for me (at least none memorable) so I'd like to remedy that. HECK YEAH! Der and I went to see RUSH!  I had wanted to go see my favorite band (Incubus) but the closest they came to Nashville was Atlanta and it was smack in the middle of the semester...maybe next time?

9) See more theater-especially since I am jonesing for it so much as of late. Whether it's professional ("Spring Awakening!") or local (MTSU) I want to see more of it. I did! I saw: MTSUs "Medea" with Kelly, saw Tonya in "Hairspray", MTSUs "RENT" with Tonya, a couple of 1 acts with Tonya and Ben at Out Front on Main, saw "Little Shop of Horrors" directed by Kelly at the high school she teaches at, and saw MTSU's original play "Lady Parts". Definitely felt good to see some theatre this year =]  I didn't see a completely professional show but maybe 2012 can remedy that.

10) Celebrate. I don't care if it's for weddings, birthdays or sheer fun-I want to jump for joy even more this year though 2010 had a LOT of that going on. Life is for living, after all. Oh-SO SO SO many celebrations were had this year! It's very incredible to realize how awesome the people in your life are and to celebrate them and their/your accomplishments. I saw people (and dogs) getting older including me, I saw friends having babies, and saw friends getting married.  I celebrated life with the passing of Clyde, Long John, and Anna. I also celebrated a 3 year relationship and 1 year of marriage with my boo. I have successfully completed 1 year of Graduate School in the journey of obtaining my Masters of Arts in Sociology.  I have helped send my best friend off to Hawaii for the NAVY and have celebrated the purchase of my sister's first home.  And duh-I celebrated holidays with great coworkers, wonderful friends and awesome family. 2011 was chucked full of amazing celebrations and I am so incredibly glad and thankful I was able to take part in all of them.

2011-You weren't bad.  You absolutely had your downs but your ups more than made up for it.  Cheers to bringing in 2012 with smiles, laughter and a lot of goals accomplished!

2012-I've got a good feeling you're going to be just as good.

Quick update

Why hello friends! I can't believe it is already the end of October-though the month itself seemed to go on FOREVER it is now bizarre that in 4 weeks Thanksgiving will be here!

I'm doing okay.  Let's see what I've been doing:

1) I have mourned the loss of my dear Uncle Clyde
2) I participated in Nashville's SlutWalk which was quite a great event
3) I have been collecting donations for the Shelter here in MBoro and plan on taking them (hopefully today or tomorrow)
4) I had a bit of a melt down about school last week and I have finally come to realize that the stress I am putting on myself about it has given me stomach aches.  And that needs to STOP.  After speaking candidly with one of my hardest yet accommodating professors, I felt a bit better.  He says: "I don't know why you're putting so much pressure on yourself or who you're comparing yourself to.  There's no need for it.  It's just school and everything will be alright."  It sounds so sill but I really needed to hear that from the faculty.  I actually wrote this sobbing blog (which I now refuse to post) about my fears and worries as both a person and a Graduate student.  I have decided not to delete it-I can check back on it when I am overwhelmed and know that it's going to be okay.
5) I officially got my crown put on-and it hurt.  Glad it's done but the process which wasn't supposed to be painful was.
6) I think I am getting sick-probably due to the crap I've been ingesting since school started.
7) I'd say I am about 1/3 of the way done with my Christmas shopping! I can't WAIT!

It looks like not a lot is going on but I've been SWAMPED with everything.  But it's all good-you'll see what I mean in November =]

SlutWalk 2011

On October 2nd I attended the Nashville SlutWalk.  It was a peace walk for sexual assault victims to raise awareness of the social stigma of the term "slut" and the issues we have in teaching (mostly) women on how not to get raped.

The issue really is in teaching (mostly) men on how NOT to rape!!

Check out some of the awesome signs everyone made and some other pictures.

Jamie's sign

I love this!

Jamie and CJ and their shirts and sign.  The shirts say "Got consent?" and "It's a dress-not a yes!"

More signs-at the start of walk #1.

A group coming back from walk #1-it was such a large group!! SO many signs and activism =]

My sign-it says "We do NOT ask for it."

Some of the group sitting listening to Stella Parton (author and sister to Dolly) describe her sexual assault, give some alarming stats, and sing us a song from the movie "The Color Purple".  Very inspiring.

It was a wonderful experience to know so many people wanted to come together to bring about more awareness for sexual assault victims.  I left after about an hour but when I left they did another walk and then held a candle light vigil in honor of those victims.  VERY cool.  Make sure you educate your self and others around you!

I suggest next time the SW rolls around in your town for you to attend-totally worth it.

We can all help

This summer, I took an entire class completely devoted to topics on violence within the family. It is sad that there have been so many victims and so much hurt that courses and seminars are being taught regarding it! What was once normal practice, and then a taboo topic has finally made its way into the limelight of the criminal justice system and into mainstream societal issues.


So today, for previous victims and for those who want to help prevent further victims, I am dedicating this blog to facts about violence against women in the family setting, information on where/how to seek help, and asking for your help in making a change.

**NOTE: This won't be a happy/cheery blog but it doesn't need to be; there is nothing happy or cheery about this type of abuse. But this is not about male bashing or making you think all partners are out to hurt you-it's about taking a stand, making those around aware of the prevalence and issues we face, and letting those who may be in these circumstances know that they are not alone.**

Some Facts

* Approximately 4.8 million intimate partner rapes and physical assaults are perpetrated against U.S. women annually, and approximately 2.9 million intimate partner physical assaults are committed against U.S. men annually. These findings suggest that intimate partner violence is a serious criminal justice and public health concern. (NVAW Survey 2000).

*Source: http://crisis-support.helium.com/topic/4954-domestic-violence

*Violence against women includes but is not limited to the following: 1) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence occurring in the family, including battering; sexual abuse of children in the household, dowry-related violence, marital rape, female genital mutilation and other traditional practices harmful to women, non-spousal violence, and violence related to exploitation. 2) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence occurring within the general community including rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and intimidation at work and educational institutions and elsewhere, trafficking in women, and forced prostitution. 3) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence perpetrated or condoned by the State, wherever it occurs.

*1 Woman is killed every 7.4 hours by an intimate partner in the United States. (FBI, 2005)

*Source: http://crisis-support.helium.com/topic/4954-domestic-violence

*Among women aged 15 to 44 years, violence against women accounts for more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic injuries, and war put together.

Does this not astound you? It makes me sick to my stomach. The worse part is: we have probably all come into contact with a victim of this type of abuse, whether we knew it or not. So I am here to take a stand against it. I am speaking out, trying to inform the masses about these issues and how they need to stop. There is enough violence in the world without intimate partners getting involved in the mix. If we push the idea of the family being the safe-haven then let us MAKE IT a safe haven!

Know the Red Flags of a Battering Personality*:

1. Quick Involvement

2. Jealousy

3. Controlling Behavior

4. Unrealistic Expectations

5. Isolation

6. Blames Others for Problems

7. Blames Others for Feelings

8. Hypersensitivity

9. Cruelty to Animals and Children

10. Playful use of Force During Sex

11. Verbal Abuse

12. Rigid Sex Roles

13. Sudden Mood Swings

14. Past Battering

15. Threats of Violence

*source: Legal Aid Society of Middle Tennessee and the project for victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Arkansas

Where to seek help/shelter:

1) Call the 24 hour, 7 days a week National DV hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/

2) Search for shelters and help in your area: http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

3) Share your voice. Remember: you are not alone: http://www.thehotline.org/category/share-your-voice/ 

Would you like to help?

Here are a few ways how:

1) Spread this blog, and other sites you've found information from to as many people as possible. NO-I am not trying to get a huge following. I am trying to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE! The more people that see this and at least read about it, the better.

2) Volunteer at your local domestic violence/sexual assault shelter. It is great help, a fantastic learning experience and a good deed for all involved. There are many tasks and each city or surrounding area would greatly appreciate it!

3) Donate! I've got a sidebar set up on the right hand side for donations-these will go directly to the domestic violence/sexual assault center right in my town. The funds can be used for buying items on their wish list or can be given directly as cash-YOU decide! If you don't donate to my funds-donate to the local shelter where you're from! Donations of any kind whether in monetary or goods are all helpful and beneficial to those in need.

I hope I raised you up! I hope you realize the prevalence of these issues! I hope you want to HELP! I hope you took notice, understood that this is much more common than most realize, and that there are always ways that you can help!

November is the National Domestic Violence Awareness month so let’s get some donations/volunteering and knowledge under our belts by then!

Remember to share the love,
JR

Looking back

It's funny to look back on what I was doing this year via my blogs. Check it out!

Goals 1

Car Wreck

Hair change & sweet date

Goals 2

GRE & Running

Wow-September 2010 wasn't so hot for me, LOL. This time around it hasn't been so bad but then again, it's only the 8th  ;]

XOXO

Baby Steps

Admitting to yourself, let alone others, that you may not know something, that you're uncomfortable, scared, uneasy, etc. is never an easy task.  So it's been suggested to take baby steps, a leap-of-faith.

I read a very interesting article where the writer speaks of admitting and admiring "I don't know" as an acceptable term and one in which should push people to grow.  (In his case he speaks of admitting no "knowledge" to a God or to specific political factions, therefore illustrating why he believes what he does-but still interesting none the less). 

I think admitting to not knowing something shows bravery-where others may lie or attempt to "know" and end up in a whirlwind catastrophe. 

I think that admitting to not knowing something shows a bit of humbleness that many think humanity lacks today.  I think admitting to being uncomfortable or scared or apprehensive or just plain paranoid is okay to do.  When our society has pushed so hard for people to not be push overs and to stand ground and be perfect, I think it's a bit refreshing to hear someone in earnest say they don't know with confidence. 

I don't understand lies-they serve no purpose to me. 

I think the attempt of admitting something is such a foreign concept to people, even if it's just to themselves that once done, it's a wonderful weight off the shoulders.

The difference lies in what you do about it-not knowing something is no excuse to play ignorant/naive.  Having the insight to explain that you're human and that you were not born all-knowing/fearless is necessary in rounding one out as a person and a honest soul.

Today: I have come into a situation that makes me a bit apprehensive and uncomfortable.  I still feel it gnawing at the back of my mind but I have come to the conclusion that once I admitted that I was uncomfortable and indeed a bit unsettling (which normally isn't the case), it was that much easier for me to attempt to get over it. I am usually willing to admit that I don't know something and I then chose to make the attempt to know-to understand-to do away with fears-to become more comfortable-to be a more solid me.  Today is one of those days.

It's all about baby steps.

What do you feel helps give you the "push" for a leap-of-faith?