...but I've been in a whirlwind of emotion and stress lately. Let me catch you up:
*I was let go of my job 5 weeks ago. While it was pretty hard for me it has provided me with the adequate time needed to really focus on my last semester of graduate school. That being said, stress regarding finances and what I'm going to do after December is pretty high at the moment.
*I have stopped taking birth control. It may not seem like that big of a deal but after being on some form of BC for 10 years, my body is trying to synch back up to normal and my hormones are WAY out of whack. I did not go off so we could have a kid. We are using other methods of contraception-just nothing based in hormones and chemicals. So I've got a sour stomach, super depressy hormons etc. that I'm trying to deal with
*I am trying to finish my thesis. Like I said: I am fortunate to NOT have a job right now so I can focus on this but I am still stressing out. I'm putting so much pressure on myself that I get sick daily (this was happening before I went off BC). The worst that will happen is that on PAPER I won't graduate until May 2013 and I'll have to pay $450 for 1 credit hour next semester. Regardless, my classes will be done so I can get a full time job, have insurance, and benefits again (and DUH-money)!
*I have gone meatless for the month of October. While it's really neat (and saving me money in not buying fast food) it's probably bad timing, lol. I plan on writing a massive blog after day 31 with details, tips, stuggles and accomplishments I've found in this diet.
I don't know if I'm stressing out so much because I'm so close or because I am constantly thinking about getting a job in this horrible job market....
I by NO means am busier than my fellow grads and professors. I am amazed and oftentimes intimidated by how much they (and by they I USUALLY mean we) can fit into schedules. I used to be one of those people and as of late...I just suck at it! I think it's because I miss routine and I miss being busy.
I will say graduate school has thus far been the hardest thing I've ever done (with the exception of this thesis...THAT'S the hardest)! It's kind of awesome but still hard. I have put more tears, hard work, time, and energy into these past 2 years than I have in pretty much anything else (besides my marriage-I work on that daily =])
I think I'm just ready. Ready for a break from school, ready to work again, ready to explore options for a Ph. D program, ready to potentially move and start a new chapter of my life.
Ah well. Luck, prayers, good thoughts, etc. are welcome this way if you feel so inclined. I'll take it!
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So, I've finally got an opportunity to catch up on your blog - I'm sorry to hear about work, but I know something will come downt the pike soon.
ReplyDeleteI have also taken myself off birth control. I was on the NuvaRing, and it was really screwing with my system. For the year I was on it, I was physically unable to cry, and that was TORTURE. I've switched to condoms for the time being, since my rendezouses (?) are in a one-at-a-time phase, but I'm trying to find another non-hormonal option in the hopes I can book a string of repeat performances with the same man sometime soon. I want an IUD, but my doctor isn't crazy about the idea since I've never had a child. We shall see.
You are much braver than I am if you're already looking for Ph.D programs. I want one, too, but I need to spend some time (and by some time, I mean, like, ten years) AWAY from student life.
Miss you, lady!!