An early 2013 goal recap

I know, I know. I have been horrible about updating lately. Mostly it's because I haven't had much I wanted to write about and am debating on whether I want to move blog servers...we'll see.

Anyway, another year is swiftly coming to a close. Remember when I listed my goals? Well I'm going to go ahead and mark them off (or admit defeat now) as I will probably be going to a different blog server and this may be my "good bye"!  Who knows?

2013 Goals:
-Make our lifestyle greener: After an adventure in making both my own face wash and laundry detergent along with reading a few blogs about making greener and healthier food changes I really think we can do it. By making our diets cleaner, our cleaning products both eco friendly and chemical free, and just making good decisions regarding our everyday living I think both D and I can do it! COMPLETE! We've still got a LONG way to go but we've adjusted some of our eating and living habits that I feel good about. YAY! 
-Bust my ass at my new job: I've got a new job which is to be incredibly fast paced and high stress. I hope to not only manage but work through any issues I have and come out a champion by years end! COMPLETE! I've learned SO much and am very thankful for all that I've been fortunate to have and experience with a really great team.
  -(Attempt to) travel: Because of said new job, I'm not sure how/when I'll be able to do any traveling besides small weekend excursions. If, after 6 months, things are going well and I can request time (and we have the funds), D and I will find somewhere to go and enjoy a new slice of the world. IF we get to, here are a few places I'd like to visit if possible: New Haven, CT (to visit Shelley which in turn could lead to a quick visit to NYC), Gatlinburg, TN, Chicago, IL, and/or Redlands, CA. I still want to see the Biltmore Mansion and Graceland but those may be a lot more "doable" since they can be quick weekend getaways. COMPLETE! Though we didn't go everywhere listed above we did go to: Gatlinburg for Valentine's Day weekend, Hawaii (again!) for my best friend's wedding, I went to CT (and NYC for the day) to visit my other best friend, D went to FL to visit his family, and within the next week we'll be going to FL again for family Christmas! Travel = success 
-Purchase at least 1 work appropriate piece per paycheck starting with my first check in February (this includes accessories). I was so fortunate to be given some funds for graduation and they REALLY helped me start gathering more work appropriate (and professional) pieces. I'll count this as a kind of...I didn't do it for every check but I did gather a lot of pieces throughout the year and feel pretty good about them. 
-(Really) learn French: Although I had more time without a job, I didn't find the proper motivation to go further than part 1 of my French Rosetta Stone. So 2013, I will! FAIL. I literally was SO into and then stopped at the EXACT same place I did last time! Here's to hoping 2014 will kick my ass into gear with this! 
-Attempt at least 2 vegetarian or vegan days per week. After attempting a meatless month I'd really like to progress into that. I think January will be tough since I've got to wait until the very end of the month for my first check but after that...bring it ON! I'll mark this as a kind of...While I don't know if every week I did this, I noticed I was eating a lot less meat in general this year and I feel better about it. 
-WRITE MORE! I find such solace and relaxation in writing and I want to do a LOT more of it this year. Whether it's poetry, fiction, journaling, or research I just want to delve in and really do it. I was so gung-ho for a bit and then I got writers block...again. I can't say I technically wrote more because in graduate school I wrote a ton. I wrote more via journaling and a bit in a "book" but I don't think I'd mark this off the list quite yet. 
-Save more money: With this new job I plan on putting more in my savings account than I had previously. If I keep it up and don't mess with it I can really rack up some funds for a big purchase later in life! With this also comes the start of paying off student loans. While it's intimidating to me, I know we can manage it and really start chipping away at it, slowly and steadily. Well, we did save more money...but then we ended up spending a lot of it on car repairs, vet visits, etc...so I'll mark this as a kind of? 
-Make a list of stuff I want for the home: If we decide to stay in our apartment for the next few years (which we may do), I want to add new things to it. Since it has been quiet some time since I updated about our home, I figured I might as well get the other stuff I want to really show you what it's become over the past few years =] FAIL-I didn't even attempt this 
-Craft more: My goal is to make at least one craft a month. This does not include making the greener stuff (unless I come up with something truly unique). I'm excited! I was doing really well until about mid-year and then I stopped...so not COMPLETE but not a total failure. 

Ya know what else I did this year?
-I lost 32 pounds through changing how I eat and a bit of exercise
-I read 41 books, most of which were GREAT.
-I was accepted to adjunct a class in a topic I adore this coming Spring
-I turned 26
-I was a matron of honor at my best friend's wedding
-I tried a lot of new foods for the first time
-I MADE A BABY. You read that right: I'm going to be a parent next year!!!! I won't lie-this has been the most exhilarating thing to happen this year.

If I get a new blog, I think it will be consumed with discussions and my thoughts/musings on parenting. I'll let you know if I move!

It's about to be that time of year...

The holiday season yes but the 

SEASON 

OF 

FOOD.

Basically the worst time of year for someone on a diet.

Now I'll admit it: I am SUPER pumped for the Halloween candy, the desserts, the turkeys, the pies, the pumpkin spice lattes, the cranberries, the drinks!  But I have lost 32 pounds since March and these next 3 months are going to be VERY trying and tempting for me.

However, I'm looking forward to it because for this to truly be a lifestyle change for me (like I want it to be) the holidays are the PERFECT test!

Don't get it twisted.

I WILL be partaking in all of the delicious goodies I mentioned above along with many, many others.  B.U.T...I will be doing so in moderation, still counting calories and holding myself accountable to what I'm taking in and making myself stay focused and motivated.

If I can make it through birthdays, office outings, holidays (others that aren't quite as focused on food) and other celebrations then I can do this, right?

In exactly 2 weeks I will be in Hawaii helping my best friend get married!  I think that will be the jump start to all of the holiday food that I'm weary of (read: super stoked to eat but weary of re-gaining what I've lost).

Ya know what though?  If I gain some weight back...I will loose it again.  I am excited about the weight I've lost and anticipate pitfalls, bad days (or even weeks) but my mentality has changed for the good and I love feeling better!  I look better, sure.  But for real...I feel so much better!

My depression and anxiety hardly flair up.  My back doesn't usually hurt (unless I go awhile without working out).  I get excited about clothes shopping.  I get excited seeing my clothes get looser.  I sleep better.  I have less headaches and dragging feelings.  I feel more me than I have in years.

So BRING IT ON 2013 HOLIDAY SEASON!  I will enjoy you and everything you have to offer!

(in moderation of course)

Love yourself first and the rest will follow

I find it so incredibly interesting how much emphasis we as a society put on developing and sustaining relationships with others.  While I'm not bashing that at all, I think we often overlook the NEED to develop and nurture the relationships we have with ourselves.

I have learned a lot about myself over my 26 years.  I'm still growing, changing, and nurturing the relationship I have with myself.  While I'm not blaming anyone for not doing this, I will pose this question:  how can we have sustaining, deep, established relationships with others if we're still struggling to do so with ourselves?  How can I be the best friend, partner, daughter, sister, student, co-worker, etc. if I'm not the best of myself?  This year in particular (for some reason) has been really enlightening to me and has helped me be really introspective with myself about my goals, my dreams, my traits to work on, my traits to take pride in, me.  I know I have a long way to go but I am becoming more and more pleased with the me I am today.

I'm not going into everything I've learned about myself but here are a few things:
1. I am fairly well rounded.  I love classical music and dirty jokes.  I can speak & read basic French and know how to change the oil in my car.  I have 2 degrees in the arts but appreciate and enjoy science and the technical.  I work hard and know when to take it easy.  I have an array of random skills that may or may not ever come in handy.  I don't mind doing manual labor nor do I mind giving presentations in front of academics.  I want to be a ballerina and go help solve world hunger.  I am horrible at math but do really well with equations.  I am a geek and a nerd.  Both my mind and heart are open.  I sometimes feel glamorous. I love to say "yes" but am fine with saying "no" if I feel compromised.
2. My stubbornness, while sometimes a hindrance, is more often a great key to my success.  My stubbornness can often be seen by others as determination.
3. I believe I am kind.  I strive to be so everyday (though every minute I may not be) and hope this is the #1 trait others think of when they think of me.
4. I believe I am average.  I don't say this to get compliments but I find myself to be absolutely ordinary.  I think the reason I don't get offended by this is because I also try to be humble (with the exception of writing an entire blog about myself of course, lol).  As a society we applaud mediocrity but expect perfection while also shaming those that don't make it.  What a dizzying contradiction! I am fine with my averageness, knowing that behind it I am working really hard.
5. I also strive to work really hard in everything I do.  If I know something is my job, I can promise you that I will work 110% on making sure I do it to the best of my ability.  So long as I am not being compromised, I will work hard for your request, for myself, and for the sake of working hard.
6. I am sensitive.  I've come to accept that.  While some may think it's pathetic or weak, I find it to be a tough thing!  I feel so much, most of it grand, and I've become comfortable with that instead of being embarrassed or shamed by it.
7. I am childish.  Sometimes I throw a good ol' fashioned tantrum.  I can be spiteful and unyielding over the smallest matters...I'm not proud of this but I think it's silly for me to ignore some traits I'm not so proud of.  This is something I'm working on but something that may also stick around for a bit...because change takes time.
8. I am odd.  Maybe not in the classic sense but amongst the average group of people I am odd.  Sometimes I get self-conscious of it and sometimes I don't.  I'm finding more and more that I am a person to celebrate (if only by myself) than someone who should ever feel ashamed of the things they love and who they are.  I've soaked up my oddness and have decided to celebrate it! YOU SHOULD TOO.  YOU are a person to celebrate!!  After all, if you're surrounded by the people that make you happiest, they already love you-oddness and all.
9. I really want to be a parent.  I think we have been engrained to "want" to be parents but I find that there aren't always real reasons behind the why.  Why do I want to be a parent?  I want to educate.  I want to watch someone grow.  I want to help another person see the world and experience things.  I want to know that something I did made an impact on at least 1 person in the world.  I want to see what my offspring would look like.  I want to know what it will do with its life.
10. Sometimes I get scared...and that's okay.  Sure, we all get scared or nervous about different things in life.  I think admitting I'm scared of something is a great step in working to overcome that fear.  Being scared is terrifying, nerve-wracking, unsettling.  But to experience the good we've got to experience the bad, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the unknown.  I'm working on overcoming the things I'm scared of and I've often found that after it's all said and done...there was really nothing to be afraid of anyway!

So there you have it.  Some developments I've made with myself.  I want to be the best of me so that I can be the best for everyone.  I'm working on letting go of feeling ashamed, embarrassed, an odd-ball, lonely and replacing these things with celebration, excitement, uniqueness, loved.

I am me and I find that to be quite enough.

Today is a day that tests my patience...

Today has not been a good one when it comes to my mentality regarding my body.

I feel fat.  Sloppy.  Chunky.  Clumsy.  The same.


But I know I'm not.  I've lost 26 pounds since March 5th.

26 POUNDS.

Do you know what weighs approximately 26 pounds?

-A 2 year old

-A small dog

-5 bags of sugar

-3 1 gallon jugs of water

-A party gummy bear

-40 10 oz cans of soup

While this most certainly isn't the biggest weight loss many of you may have seen, It's my biggest weight loss.  And I'm usually SO proud but the past 2-3 days I've felt so...blah.  I've been working out more (although I know I need to really amp it up) but I've felt so weak...I know it takes time and will-power...and I've been holding out since March but today my patience was tested.

And I hated it.

It's not like I have an ideal body type I'd like to look like or even a specific weight I'd like to get to (my goal was 150 from 171.8 and I currently weight 146...so that's awesome!)  I plan on making this a lifestyle change.  I feel SO much better without 40 10 oz cans tied to me (figuratively, of course.)  I'm sleeping better, eating better, trying harder, moving more, have decreased anxiety and just overall feel great most of the time.  I'm fitting into clothes I haven't worn in years!  I guess it's just the ebb and flow of life, emotions, moods, and such these past few days.  I also know that the body often plateaus after a while unless something drastically changes.  My eating habits have been mostly maintained so I'm pretty sure I just need to move more and amp it up when I do.  I know I'm getting stronger and I know I'm getting leaner...it's just not all happening NOW and I think my patience is pissed.

But why?  Again, I have no time frame, no set goal weight and date (per say.)  I'd like to get to around 140 and stay at around 140.  That's the tip of my BMI and also works well with my frame.  So why the hurry?  If it's really to be a life style change I guess I need to just shut up and realize it takes TIME and WORK and PERSISTENCY.  I mean hell: it took time to gain that additional 26 pounds so for me to loose that weight and rework my body should definitely take time too.

I'm just impatient!

Ah, well.  They say anything worth doing is worth doing right (and is usually really hard.)  So I need to quit my bitching and just enjoy the ability to be 26 pounds lighter and to keep fine tuning and learning about my body, especially since it's the only one I've got!

May Craft Time...just kidding! June Craft Time Instead

So, I had all of the materials and the idea to make my craft in May...but I just plum didn't have the time!  However, I did make them in June and am happy with how they turned out.  I think I'll be making something similar (maybe cloth napkins instead of dishtowels) again for a Christmas gift.  Unfortunately,  I totally spaced on taking pictures so all I've got is the finished product.  Just use your lovely imagination and think about the steps :)

Stamped Tea Towels

What You'll Need:
-2 or more tea towels (also known as flour sack towels)
-assorted stamps
-assorted stamp ink
-an iron
-small paint roller (optional)

Step-by-Step:
1. Iron your cloth to make smooth.
2. Place assorted paints on a pallet or paper plate for easy use.
3. I improvised a bit with stamps-I didn't like the stamps I had on hand so I used some items around the house that were circular so I could make dots.  I used different sizes too.  However, if you do have stamps make sure they are coated well and evenly (this is where the small pain roller can come in) before you apply them to your towel in whatever pattern you're wanting.
4. Stamp away!  Do whatever pattern you feel like, if any pattern at all.  Make sure the stamp (or object) is placed firmly down and hold for a few seconds before slowly removing.
5. Let dry.  I waited a solid day but you can check the paint off-and-on to make sure it's dry.
6. Once dry, iron again.  This should ensure the stamps will stay.  If you plan on giving them to someone as a gift, make sure you let them know they need to be HAND WASHED AND DRIED.  If they are for you...just remember that.

And that is it!  I think these are SO adorable and pretty inexpensive!  I'm thinking of making some with Christmas tree patterns for Christmas and maybe some colorful stripes for a friends birthday gift.

(Spoiler alert:  I didn't make a craft in July either!)

Your thoughts spelled out in ABC's...

Over "On the Road to DeMask Us", I saw a very simple blog that really got me thinking.  Go check out her blog and read about the ABCs...then come back and check mine out!

Always ask questions.
Be aware that your priorities aren't always the same as others.
Control the need to complain.
Dive head first into something you love, regardless of your fear.
Evolve your habits so that they work best for what YOU need/want.
Fight for what you believe in.
Give generously.
Have an open mind regarding ALL topics, even if you don't agree.
Issues always work themselves out
Jokes can heal most wounds.
Know that you are never, ever alone.
Listen to others.
Make time to say "I Love You" even when you're angry.
No matter what, love with every ounce of yourself.
Organize you thoughts before speaking.
Put others first.
Quit worrying about what's to come and instead focus on the now.
Relax and enjoy the journey.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Take advantage of the time you have and what you can do with it.
Understand you have more than you need and that those needs are enough.
Vindictiveness solves nothing; act kind instead.
Wake up happy, glad to be living for one more day.
Xanadu is what you make it.
Your attitude affects more than you think.
the Zenith of a friendship all depends on how much you want it.

Do YOU have a list of ABC's you think others could benefit from?

When the universe talks, you should listen

This week has been interesting....It has been full of inconveniences, emptying of my wallet where I'd rather not have, month end at work, health scares, and having hardly any time to spend with my boo.

Now this may sound like complaining.  I'm not.  These are just the facts.

Yet, instead of being super bummed out or sad or very frustrated (like I normally get when these kind of days/weeks go down) I have felt humbled.

Has this week been frustrating, anxiety filled, sad, lonely? Yes, but everything has worked out.  I mean, everything always works out but this time it all worked out within the day the issue was happening.

And that never happens to me.

It's off-putting to say the least.

But I'm glad.

The universe was speaking to me this week, I think.  It said "Listen...we're gonna throw some inconveniences and such your way this week...but understand that I've got your back and you just need to recognize that."

And I did.

For example:  I woke up yesterday with a flat tire. BOO.  I waited on roadside assistance to put on my spare so I could get a new tire.  Turns out, I needed 2 new tires.  BOO.  Because of said tire incident I was 2.5 hours late to work and $260 poorer. BOO.  Yesterday was month end (which means end of deadlines) and month end (meaning rent was due.) BOO.

But here's what the universe did for me to make up for this irksome event (and believe me: this is one of many events like this that have happened this week.)  It said "Hey, since you booked 2 trips yesterday (paying $620) I'm gonna flatten your tire.  Not fun...but since you got 3 paychecks instead of 2 this month AND your bills are all paid I'm gonna go ahead and take care of that car problem.  Silly Jordan, you need to be safe on the road!  Good thing you booked the trips AND got new tires, right?  Sorry (not sorry) about you wanting to spend that money willy-nilly."

Weird, right?

They say timing is everything and I think I'm just starting to believe it.  This 3rd paycheck I had planned on getting some new summer clothes, helping D with his trip in 2 weeks, etceteras.  The universe had other plans instead BUT...I guess I can't blame it when it's just looking out for my safety, right?  It's nice to be humbled every now and again.

Now go outside and look up.  Enjoy the vastness that you're a part of because I know I will.

Happy Saturday!