Tired

**Warning: I'm expressing my own beliefs and if you find them offensive-that's unfortunate.  My goal is not to offend, however it is to speak my mind.**

I am tired of ignorance.

I am tired of always hearing people regurgitate information and beliefs without thought behind them.

I am tired of always keeping my mouth closed out of respect for other opinions when others do not have the same courtesy for me and mine.

I am tired of having people make others out like bad guys or inferior simply because their thoughts do not mesh together.

I am tired of politics.  I am tired of religion.  I am tired of disagreement about differences.

I am tired of holding things in when they should be let out.

I am tired of thinking about others needs and well wishes when it do not seem to be reciprocated.

I am tired.

I wish for peace.  I dream of peace.  I hope for peace.

That is my belief, my politic.  Peace.

I want freedom, laughter, enlightenment and understanding for everyone.

There are so many things I do not agree with but I do agree with personal choice, equal rights and the simplicity of empathy and understanding.  To me, it does not matter. 

There are always reasons (or should be) behind why someone believes what they do or acts a certain way.  For example: many serial killers kill (in part) because there is a certain section in their brain where sympathy, understanding, and compassion are not present or "activated" appropriately.  Now I know that may seem far-fetched for an example but after killing 15 people, many would believe this killer deserves to get the death penalty.  But does s/he?  In my opinion: the understanding of the people-the society-need further broadening to truly answer that question.  On a personal level, I could never hold the job of knowing day-to-day that I am putting a needle in someones arm and consciously taking a life.  But, in the same sense, I do not know what many of these killers do...because I do hold certain prejudices against some crimes over the other (though I know I should not) and may not give it a seconds thought.  It's all about perspective and circumstance, though in many cases it should not be.

I think the biggest problem in all of this is that so many do not care to find the reasons behind the argument and instead take the issue to heart.  While so many of these issues are important (rape, abortion, welfare, education) the reasoning why rape is being blamed on women's dress instead of predators behavior or why many teens feel like abortion is their only option or why so many children are having to low test scores on examinations are where the focus actually lies. 

Why?

Do you know why you believe what you do?  Regarding any subject:  Religion, Politics, Same-Sex Marriage, Abortion, Work Ethics, Educational Setbacks, Welfare, Tax Breaks, Corporate reform...the list goes on and on.

Do you know why you believe in certain issues and not others?  And the age old "because it's wrong" or "because the Bible tells me so" or "because that is what I was taught" or "because this is the only way" or "because I'm smarter than so-and-so" are all insufficient answers to me.  This takes responsibility off the individual and tries to place blame on a societal function when clearly many of the functions in themselves are warped, diluted, and corrupted (a whole new issue in itself).

So my remedy?  E.D.U.C.A.T.E.  Learn, learn, learn.  Research, get other viewpoints, read opposing and agreeing media!  You've got to know all sides to make a thoughtful and just view on things. 

Now I am just as guilty as the next person with taking something to heart or jumping the gun on an issue or stating my opinion when a conclusion has yet to be reached.  But it's something I am working on and hope to constantly and consciously work on throughout my lifetime.  There a quite a few issues I have on my plate that I really need to sit down and focus and research more why I feel/believe what I do.

One awesome example: today I posted a photo on my facebook.  It sparked some conversation but what I liked about the convo. was that it was pretty peaceful, everything seemed to have thought into it and it was not just "that's mean" or "you're wrong".  I had a few people on opposing sides, as is often the case with someone in my situation, but everything seemed just and decent.  Which was awesome! I never mind opposing view points...as long as there is no superiority complex trying to be shown or angry rants about certain beliefs.  A well placed, thought out, and equal debate on any subject works just fine for me! Calling someone ignorant or wrong out of spite, anger or confusion seems unjustified and petty...and I want us all to be better about it.

So I propose to you: really sit down and think about why you think or believe in a specific something.  If you're anything like me, you've got both or more sides of so many issues that it is hard to fully invest in one position or another.  But that's okay!  There is no need to always "pick" a side to stay on.

The book I am currently reading "Walking on Broken Glass" by Christa Allen deals with a lead female character who is in rehab.  She is involved in the A.A. program.  While I don't fully agree with all of the A.A. teachings, I dowonderful things to teach individuals, in this type of life-altering setting as well as in everyday life.


Are you these three things? I know I try to be at all times though many times I fail at one or more of them.

I am not trying to come off as preachy but I just want peace, for everyone, for always...and I think one of the ways to achieve it is through understanding, education and respect for one another.

YOU dear reader, I respect you and am so very glad to know you, even in the virtual sense.  Many of you have different view points (I am sure) regarding a multitude of things but I am glad we can come together in this virtual world to discuss so many issues ranging in the crucial to the mundane and still at the end of the day respect one another for having personal choices, guidance and understanding.

Thank you and please, share the love. <3

Birthday Boy

Last Tuesday-my lovely husband turned 24!  We had a great time.  We ate some food I picked up after my half day at work, baked some birthday cupcakes, showered and then got ready to head the Lanes, Trains, and Automobiles-the local bowing/lasertag alley.  Some of Derrick's work friends came and we had SO much fun!!  After bowling we went to Old Chicago (for the first time for Der and me) and played trivia with everyone while we ate and drank.  It was a great time and pretty laid back.  I know I really enjoyed meeting some of Derrick's co-workers and hanging out on a Tuesday night (something I'm not going to be able to do much of this semester!)
Check it out!  I didn't get too many pictures because I was bowling and laser tagging too but here's a few of what I got.

Derrick, Mark and Brian being goofy while they put on their awesome bowling shoes in the cosmin bowling lanes.  We had to use those lanes first but it was good for just us 4 while the others were on their way.

The only good pic of me and the birthday boy! <3

The guy's got a technique!

Some of the group post laser tag (I came in 6 out of 7 and Der came in 2 out of 7). From L to R: Kadi, Derek, Mark, Der, Brian, and Philip (Russo).

The same group as above plus Trent-they're all so silly and fun!!

All in all I think it was a great birthday.  I know I had fun and Derrick really seemed to enjoy himself!

HAPPY 24TH (again) MY LOVE!

XOXOXO

First day back

Today was the first day of school.  I'm on the left leg of my Graduate School career-meaning I've still got my right to go (this fall) but am closer just the same =]

I always love the first day of school.  The syllabi, the new pens, the hoards of students, the smell of overpriced text books....

I have high hopes for this semester.  I have a lot on my plate but it all seems so scrumptious and enticing!  Thesis, program evaluation, papers, lectures, conferences.

I AM READY.

I am hoping this semester will not play as much on my psyche (in a negative way) as last semester did...but as part of my 2012 goals to keep myself happy and positive, I am striving even harder for this semester to be like last Spring and to zoom by like this past Fall.  That would be perfect!

We'll see how it goes but I have good feelings and am looking forward to how it all pans out come May 1st.

I cave

I didn't want to post my yearly goals for 2012 but I have so many I'm afraid I will forget!  So here it goes to name a few.  I'm sure others will crop up throughout the year but these are the main ones I keep thinking about.

1. I want to become more healthy.  This includes my physical, mental and emotional well being.  Starting Sunday I plan on working out again and changing a few of my eating patterns.  I know I can change some of these patterns as I've done them before so that I am not too concerned with.  Regarding my mental health...that may be a different story, ha ha!  I officially start my thesis this semester and I'm nervous about it.  Graduate school in general makes my mind feel a bit stretched but I'm thinking I can do it! Now my fragile emotional health-I have positive feelings for this year.

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Granted, a new year is not the "thing" that makes decisions and makes/breaks a person.  The choices and reactions to them are what do so I plan on trying to bring my dramatics and worry down quite a bit (since I have a nasty little tendency for both).  These things being said, I know this will be the hardest but probably the most rewarding goal I can do for myself both this year and throughout my life.  I'd really like to say that when I turn 25 I am in the best shape (in all of these categories) of my life.

2. I want to travel more! My sites are set on going to: California, Florida, New York City, Hawaii and Chicago.

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Now let me go ahead and tell you right now I may only be going to possibly two (HI to see Destiny and CA for a conference) but I would like to if at all possible go to a few others.  Outside of Chicago I know people we/I can room with for our stay so travel and food expenses are the main financial components. But there are also so more local places I'd like to check out that may be more reasonable both financially and for time (work and school ya know). Like travelling to Louisville, KY to see lovely Lauren for a few days, to Memphis to check out Graceland, Huntsville, AL to check out the Space museum, or Ashville, NC to check out the Biltmore mansion.

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These aren't exotic and luxurious places but awesome locales I'd really like to check out.  Who knows?!  Maybe I'll see them all ;)

3. Get more done in school.  That may sound a bit silly considering how intense I've made the GS scene out to be but in reality I need more to put on my CV (Curriculum Vitae) for future jobs.

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So in April I may be going to CA for a conference regarding a paper Dr. A and I are working on.  Also this summer I want to volunteer somewhere to help teach or lend a hand to a cause.  And obviously, I'd really like to have at least two things published by the time I graduate.  This may include my thesis, it may not.  I have two projects I started on that I'd like to carry on with but they're so time consuming that they may have to wait until after Spring Break to even be looked at.  I've got one year to tack more stuff to my CV but as of now it's pretty bare.  We will see.

4. Take more care of my self.

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Now this deviates a bit from the first goal because this is on a more superficial level (at least to start).  I want to dress better.  I want to try new things with my hair, my clothes, my style.  I want to try to keep my nails done (even if it's just clear polish).  I want to quit using excuses as to why I'm not looking professional or half-way decent when I could be.  Now note: I am NOT saying I need to have my hair done, make up on, sky high heels on and a push up bra.  I don't particularly have anything against those who do but I am not one of those ladies.  My point here is I want to try to be better about presenting myself regardless of who I am around. I will try to keep myself happy while also putting forth the image I want to. (But please know that when I'm sick-all bets are off.  I don't care who I am around, if I'm sick I will dress/look exactly how I feel, ha ha!)  Alongside these things I also want to take care of myself by soaking my brain in books, movies, television, theater, operas, and ballet. I want to absorb these things best I can because they all make me so incredibly happy whilst staying hand-in-hand with the other happy things in my life (like family, friends, work, etc.)  I also want to do things good for me like hiking, getting a massage, swimming and laughing.  I want to take as much care of myself as possible starting NOW! (I'm already on my way because I'm blogging and getting ready to finish my first book of 2012!

5. Learn French.  You know...the language.  I took 3 years of it in high school and placed in the 80s out of 500 in the nation of those that took this French III test. I love French culture (especially the Parisians) and have always wanted to fluently speak, write, read it.  I could read it the best, write it okay, speak it the worst.  So I plan to re-start my journey with the purchasing of the Rosetta Stone French sets.  They are expensive but I think worth it because not only will I be learning it but Der wants to learn it too.  That way we can keep it kind of alive by speaking it to one another!  Then obviously we want to go to France to try out our tongues...when we're ready, lol!

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So I'll be going back to the basics (and Der from scratch) hopefully soon and maybe one day I'll write a whole blog in French!  I really look forward to this.

Again-Happy 2012 bloggers! Enjoy the day, the year, the life.  What an incredible journey we all take!

Must Haves

Every person is different when it comes to personal style.  Each individual displays a certain persona or image when s/he goes out (even when we say we don't) and usually there are a few "must haves" that make their way into our image.

I find that I count my wedding rings as must haves not only because of the romantic/intimate significance but also because they make my otherwise stumpy hobbit hands looks half-way decent.  I also prefer to wear earrings (outside of when I shower or sleep).  Sometimes I forget but when I remember-they are a must have.  I think it's because any outfit, regardless of the image you're trying to portray looks a bit more subtle (think pearl or diamond studs) or glammed out (chandelier or feathers) with a pair of earrings-I think they complete an outfit.

My husband for the longest time wore high-top Chucks for his must have.  I literally don't ever remember him wearing any other type of shoe (unless he was in character) for like the first 2 years we were together, ha ha!  I don't know the full reason but I think it had part to do with the fact that he was into basketball in high school and in part due to the "renegade" look they portray (he thinking he was a rebal for a while).

I know a few people who count their undergarments as a must have-not just wearing them (ha ha!) but the specific kind/brands they wear!  A bit personal but still a must have for some!

So my question to you dear readers is this:

What are your style must haves?

Must you always have closed toed shoes?  Must you always wear a hair accessory?  Must you always use a certain eyeshadow regardless of the outfit?  Or are there certain must haves in your closet such as: must have a LBD (little black dress), must have a trench coat, must have only Victoria Secret undergarments?

I am curious.  I want to know what YOUR must haves are for either your own personal style or what YOU think everyone should have in their style.  And when you list, think about why these things are must haves for you.  Do you always wear a certain charm bracelet because it's a gift from your grandmother?  Do you always wear eyeliner because you think it makes your eyes look smaller?

I want to know!

My 2012 style-part 2

Alright ladies and gents: here's the big reveal!  Check out my great purchases and help me come up with further outfit ideas!  

Now remember-I was hoping to get: 1 pair of good fitting jeans, 1 top that works for school/work/casual hanging out. and 1 pair of shoes I can walk in that also look cute for approximately $100.

How do you think I did?

First-this morning I purchased the hat below from Target.com.

I am absolutely in love with hats and I really think this is a good one! Online price $9.98 (on sale) before taxes and shipping.  After: $16.43.  About the same price as it would be in store before the sale but my local store didn't have it and I adore it.

Second is a great black ANA "cocoon" sweater/cardigan from JCPenney.  On sale for $19.99 marked down from $50.00!.  I own absolutely no black cardigans of any kind so I think this is a great investment for the fall/winter months.

Third-I found a great pair of jeans also from JCPenney! The funny thing is: just yesterday when I was going through clothes that didn't fit, I got rid of a gray denim pair just like this.  I was really bummed about it because I loved them but was like "Well, if I can't wear them at least someone else can."  And lo-and-behold! I got some great gray skinny jeans from ANA for $24.99 marked down from $48.00!  A great steal and they look and feel great!

(They look like shorts here but I folded them so they'd fit in the picture.)

 Fourth-I got this wonderful pair of gray/brown moccasins from JCPenney.  Also on sale: $19.99 marked down from $39.99.  I fell in love with these the moment I laid eyes on them and they feel great! They were the last pair (in the store, not just my size!) so I nabbed them up before someone else could take them.  Definitely an awesome steal.

Grand total at JCPenney (after taxes): $71.30

Before we went to JCPenneys Derrick and I went to Ross to look for shirts.  I think Ross is a great place to get inexpensive tops for work (business casual/business) but you've really got to dig around for them.  Half the time I come out with nothing other times (like today!) I hit a jackpot.  I don't know what these pieces original prices were (since it's Ross and they're kind of like an overstock place) so I'll just list the purchased price.

This great cobalt/navy shirt has an adorable neckline (sorry you can't really see it here). Only $7.99 and fits really well! Also I thought the color works with any season and is pretty simple so can count as a basic if need be.

 Next I found this great gray top-it fits a tad loose but because of the lines and the scrunched sides (which you can't see in the picture) it looks great and now will match my gray denim AND gray shoes! I didn't plan on finding a gray outfit but it works great for basics and especially the winter months!  Purchased for: $9.99

And last and probably my favorite piece is this great patterned navy and cream top.  It fits like a luxurious glove and looks so great with my (newly) colored hair!  I also have a thing for navy and copper so that may lend itself to my love for this shirt.  Purchased price: $9.99.

Grand total at Ross (after taxes): $30.70

And the grand total for my shopping spree is: $16.43+$71.30+$30.70=$118.43.  Not bad at ALL considering I came away with 3 tops, 1 cardigan, 1 pair of jeans, 1 great hat and 1 pair of shoes.  BOTH goals accomplished!!

YAY ME!  Now I've got to find other things in my closet (and maybe do some more shopping with my next paycheck) to work with these items.

So I am asking you blog friends: got any fashion advice on how I should work these items into my everyday?  Or what I should purchase next to help complete these looks?  I am asking for YOUR help!  Remember: my fashion sense is very broad so crossing any "fashion lines" is totally acceptable and I am willing to try almost anything at least once!

Help me come up with ideas and once I get the outfit together I'll blog about it naming YOU as my inspiration!

Sound fun?

I am really looking forward to this and hope I'll get some participation!  Now get to thinking-I've got to dress for work tomorrow, lol!

XOXO,

J

My 2012 style-part 1

My clothing style is very broad. I like clothes in all areas-punk, glam, boho, hipster, preppy, etc. I find that I usually dress based on my mood when I can get away with it but I've also realized that there come certain situations where my mood doesn't/shouldn't matter in my attire.  So, for 2012 and hopefully forever I am hoping to re-vamp my wardrobe piece by piece and really wear what I've got in my closet and drawers.  I have a few good basics to start and that are easy transitions from work to casual hangout clothes.  But I need more. **NOTE: I use the term need very loosely-I am a pretty good minimalist when it comes to stuff (at least in comparison to others I know) so I use the term need to refer to what I am lacking in my wardrobe.

So today marks a good day-shopping day! I have a pretty small budget (~$100) but I plan on getting at least 1 entire outfit today.  This means (my hopes for my shopping): 1 pair of good fitting jeans, 1 top that works for school/work/casual hang-outage and shoes I can walk in that also look cute.  At least. I plan on hitting up Ross' for tops and flats so I may come out even better than expected!

I already bought this today online-on sale, versatile AND adorable!  (I have a thing for hats and plan on bringing them more into my wardrobe for 2012.) $15 after shipping and tax-I know it seems silly to ship it when there's a Target in the Boro but I already checked and our store was sold out =P  Any chance I can save moola I'll do it!

Expect part 2 later today when I show you my purchased duds and seek YOUR advice on what to pair them with!

Happy Monday and check back today for my part 2!

2012-Welcome!

2011 was good.  There were a few lows but I am glad I have lived another year and had some wonderful months in it.

I am not going to make monthly goals (at least via my blog) but I will be writing about accomplishments and such. 

I am so excited about 2012 and feel like there's a lot of awesome things coming like:

1) Both Der and I graduating college (BA and MA)
2) I turn 25!
3) I celebrate 2 years of marriage and 4 years of a relationship with my boo
4) TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL
5) Take better care of my health (mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.)

I've got more goals/resolutions but again, I want to write about them as they come.  I've got plans to do a lot and am so excited about it!!

Happy 2012 blog readers!  I look forward to writing more!

XOXOX
JeR