My Uncle Clyde

I have been incredibly fortunate in having lost very few people in my life time.  Yes, I am still fairly young but I have known very few people who have passed and have yet to go to a funeral.

It's surreal.  And it happened.  He's gone...my Uncle Clyde has passed away.  He is the first person in my family (that I am close to and know) that has passed.  And it makes me so sad!  I mean duh, it makes me sad, but it's just so bizarre.  I don't really know how to handle it, ya know?

Last year I wrote a blog about an assortment of things and in it I mentioned Uncle Clyde:
"My Dot Dot (that's my grandmother's name) and Aunt Phyllis are staying in Chattanooga for about 2 months because my "Uncle" Clyde (not really my uncle but he's like my grandmothers brother so we call him that) is in very poor health and they're afraid he may not last too much longer...it really makes me sad. I've only had 3 people I know die and I was around 12 when my Great Grandmother Ruby died, about 15 or 16 when my Great Uncle David died and 21 when my mentor Dale McGillard died. I've never been to a funeral-and I don't really want to, as horrible as that sounds. But I think when my Uncle Clyde passes I will. I think it's time.  We have always had Christmas (and sometimes Thanksgiving) every year on my dad's side at Uncle Clyde's house. He used to chain smoke in his kitchen and watch birds in his backyard. He made the BEST food from scratch and could never tell you the recipes because they varied a little bit each time he made them! He always had at minimum 10 stray cats he would feed on his back porch. He's got every Disney movie (either on DVD, VHS, or both) EVER MADE on his shelves. he used to play the organ and do the score board for the local church down the hill. He collects a bunch of knick knacks and has the most comfortable guest bed on the planet. His sense of humor has and always will stay intact. When we would visit my dad on his weekends we would always go visit Uncle Clyde and swing on his rickety porch swing and climb his knobby tree in the front yard. I learned to throw a Frisbee in his back yard and have some fond memories that my dad and I shared at that house-like our early morning Dunkin' Donuts and t.v. time when I was a child...Now he is 5' 10" and weighs barely 100 lbs. He is on oxygen 24/7 and can no longer smoke. He doesn't have much energy to cook or do much now. He still watches his birds though. And now he's getting in to RetroTV, lol. I think he's starting to look back on his life. He's told Dot Dot that he's ready whenever. I think that's very admirable seeing that he's got prostate cancer, CHF, I think COPD, along with a few other ailments. He just turned 76 about 2 weeks ago.  After all of that I listed above, I still don't know much about him. I asked my Dot Dot some questions and this is what I got: His middle name is Marvin. He was engaged twice but never married. He used to have dark hair and eyes and has always been a bean pole. Now he's got no hair and looks like a mix of Jiminy Cricket and Ghandi-both smiley and happy-and still is a bean pole. He's always loved the heat (he never had air conditioning in his house until Dot Dot JUST put in a wall unit 2 weeks ago). His mother lived just down the street from him before she died a few years ago. He used to play the organ at the church down the hill from him. He was born in Chattanooga and lived in Harrison starting in 1949. I think when he passes he'll pass just fine. Quietly, in no pain, and probably in his sleep. I sit her crying a bit thinking about it, but I know that he's okay and ready to meet his maker so I can't be sad for him. I'll just miss him and Christmas will never be the same without him..."

And then he, being the stubborn man he is, lives to 77!  He got better for a while and then got weaker very quickly.  He refused home care.  He ended up getting a stint put in his heart.  And then his lung collapsed and it all went down hill from there....

I miss him so much.  It will be bizarre to have Christmas at his house this year without him there.  I love him. I miss him. Yet I am so glad I was fortunate enough to spend so much time with him in my lifetime and I was able to see him before he passed away, making him laugh and smile while he was in the hospital.  I am so fortunate that I have an incredibly close and strong family, a great network of friends and colleagues that are supportive, and professors who are compassionate and understanding.

I am fortunate because I knew Clyde.  Because he was my great uncle, my buddy.

And I miss him.