Sunburns

Nobody has ever believed me but it's true. Sunscreen/sunblock does not work on me.  It doesn't matter the brand, the SPF, the re-application, nothing.

Last summer I hardly spent any time in the sun since I was working through the day (with the weekend as the exceptions) and when I did go to the pool it was usually after 5 pm so the sun was mostly hidden but the heat wasn't.  So I've kept a fairly pasty (not pale, as in gorgeous Snow White) complexion the past year and a half.

And here I go, trying to be the celebrity/pro-skin/no cancer hero by buying 50 spf water/sweat resistant, sunblock for fair-skinned children and I spray it on my entire body (read from face/ears to in between by toes), waiting the 20 minutes (as suggested per the bottle's directions) before putting on my suit and going out.  I go out for about an hour, flipping every 15 minutes or so....It gets so hot, and it's only about 12:30 so I go back inside, cool off and chill for a bit.  I go back out round 2 and lay out a bit, continuing the flipping and dipping in the pool every 20 minutes or so because it's so damn hot.  I go back home again around 3:30 to eat some lunch, re-apply the spray and we go back around 3:45 to swim for about 30 min-all of which I am in the pool, NOT sunbathing....

Then a few friends and I decide to go eat and when I change clothes I notice how hideous my naked body is with what is becoming the most bizarre sunburn ever.  I laugh and show my husband who noticed nothing but my naked body (surprise, surprise!) and proceed to gently put on a sun dress to head out.

As the evening progresses, I get more and more uncomfortable and after some movin' and shakin', I notice just how awkward this pain-in-the-ass-sunburn is really going to be.  I've got burns in the creases of my butt, my boobs and upper back, showing up like paint ball splatter all over my legs...it's bizarre, stupid and frankly pisses me off because it looks so damn silly! It's not that I even mind being sunburned or the "pain" associated with it, but with it being all goofy looking just makes me mad.

So believe me: with every inch I was able to reach with sunscreen/block burnt to an uncomfortable crisp, varying in shades of lobster pink, it DOES NOT work for me.  These burns are my proof.

So bring on the skin cancer and the wrinkles and the need to wear long sleeves in the middle of a Southern July...because this shit just plain burns.