Why hello friends! I can't believe it is already the end of October-though the month itself seemed to go on FOREVER it is now bizarre that in 4 weeks Thanksgiving will be here!
I'm doing okay. Let's see what I've been doing:
1) I have mourned the loss of my dear Uncle Clyde
2) I participated in Nashville's SlutWalk which was quite a great event
3) I have been collecting donations for the Shelter here in MBoro and plan on taking them (hopefully today or tomorrow)
4) I had a bit of a melt down about school last week and I have finally come to realize that the stress I am putting on myself about it has given me stomach aches. And that needs to STOP. After speaking candidly with one of my hardest yet accommodating professors, I felt a bit better. He says: "I don't know why you're putting so much pressure on yourself or who you're comparing yourself to. There's no need for it. It's just school and everything will be alright." It sounds so sill but I really needed to hear that from the faculty. I actually wrote this sobbing blog (which I now refuse to post) about my fears and worries as both a person and a Graduate student. I have decided not to delete it-I can check back on it when I am overwhelmed and know that it's going to be okay.
5) I officially got my crown put on-and it hurt. Glad it's done but the process which wasn't supposed to be painful was.
6) I think I am getting sick-probably due to the crap I've been ingesting since school started.
7) I'd say I am about 1/3 of the way done with my Christmas shopping! I can't WAIT!
It looks like not a lot is going on but I've been SWAMPED with everything. But it's all good-you'll see what I mean in November =]
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
SlutWalk 2011
On October 2nd I attended the Nashville SlutWalk. It was a peace walk for sexual assault victims to raise awareness of the social stigma of the term "slut" and the issues we have in teaching (mostly) women on how not to get raped.
The issue really is in teaching (mostly) men on how NOT to rape!!
Check out some of the awesome signs everyone made and some other pictures.
It was a wonderful experience to know so many people wanted to come together to bring about more awareness for sexual assault victims. I left after about an hour but when I left they did another walk and then held a candle light vigil in honor of those victims. VERY cool. Make sure you educate your self and others around you!
I suggest next time the SW rolls around in your town for you to attend-totally worth it.
The issue really is in teaching (mostly) men on how NOT to rape!!
Check out some of the awesome signs everyone made and some other pictures.
Jamie's sign
I love this!
Jamie and CJ and their shirts and sign. The shirts say "Got consent?" and "It's a dress-not a yes!"
More signs-at the start of walk #1.
A group coming back from walk #1-it was such a large group!! SO many signs and activism =]
My sign-it says "We do NOT ask for it."
Some of the group sitting listening to Stella Parton (author and sister to Dolly) describe her sexual assault, give some alarming stats, and sing us a song from the movie "The Color Purple". Very inspiring.
It was a wonderful experience to know so many people wanted to come together to bring about more awareness for sexual assault victims. I left after about an hour but when I left they did another walk and then held a candle light vigil in honor of those victims. VERY cool. Make sure you educate your self and others around you!
I suggest next time the SW rolls around in your town for you to attend-totally worth it.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
My Uncle Clyde
I have been incredibly fortunate in having lost very few people in my life time. Yes, I am still fairly young but I have known very few people who have passed and have yet to go to a funeral.
It's surreal. And it happened. He's gone...my Uncle Clyde has passed away. He is the first person in my family (that I am close to and know) that has passed. And it makes me so sad! I mean duh, it makes me sad, but it's just so bizarre. I don't really know how to handle it, ya know?
Last year I wrote a blog about an assortment of things and in it I mentioned Uncle Clyde:
"My Dot Dot (that's my grandmother's name) and Aunt Phyllis are staying in Chattanooga for about 2 months because my "Uncle" Clyde (not really my uncle but he's like my grandmothers brother so we call him that) is in very poor health and they're afraid he may not last too much longer...it really makes me sad. I've only had 3 people I know die and I was around 12 when my Great Grandmother Ruby died, about 15 or 16 when my Great Uncle David died and 21 when my mentor Dale McGillard died. I've never been to a funeral-and I don't really want to, as horrible as that sounds. But I think when my Uncle Clyde passes I will. I think it's time. We have always had Christmas (and sometimes Thanksgiving) every year on my dad's side at Uncle Clyde's house. He used to chain smoke in his kitchen and watch birds in his backyard. He made the BEST food from scratch and could never tell you the recipes because they varied a little bit each time he made them! He always had at minimum 10 stray cats he would feed on his back porch. He's got every Disney movie (either on DVD, VHS, or both) EVER MADE on his shelves. he used to play the organ and do the score board for the local church down the hill. He collects a bunch of knick knacks and has the most comfortable guest bed on the planet. His sense of humor has and always will stay intact. When we would visit my dad on his weekends we would always go visit Uncle Clyde and swing on his rickety porch swing and climb his knobby tree in the front yard. I learned to throw a Frisbee in his back yard and have some fond memories that my dad and I shared at that house-like our early morning Dunkin' Donuts and t.v. time when I was a child...Now he is 5' 10" and weighs barely 100 lbs. He is on oxygen 24/7 and can no longer smoke. He doesn't have much energy to cook or do much now. He still watches his birds though. And now he's getting in to RetroTV, lol. I think he's starting to look back on his life. He's told Dot Dot that he's ready whenever. I think that's very admirable seeing that he's got prostate cancer, CHF, I think COPD, along with a few other ailments. He just turned 76 about 2 weeks ago. After all of that I listed above, I still don't know much about him. I asked my Dot Dot some questions and this is what I got: His middle name is Marvin. He was engaged twice but never married. He used to have dark hair and eyes and has always been a bean pole. Now he's got no hair and looks like a mix of Jiminy Cricket and Ghandi-both smiley and happy-and still is a bean pole. He's always loved the heat (he never had air conditioning in his house until Dot Dot JUST put in a wall unit 2 weeks ago). His mother lived just down the street from him before she died a few years ago. He used to play the organ at the church down the hill from him. He was born in Chattanooga and lived in Harrison starting in 1949. I think when he passes he'll pass just fine. Quietly, in no pain, and probably in his sleep. I sit her crying a bit thinking about it, but I know that he's okay and ready to meet his maker so I can't be sad for him. I'll just miss him and Christmas will never be the same without him..."
And then he, being the stubborn man he is, lives to 77! He got better for a while and then got weaker very quickly. He refused home care. He ended up getting a stint put in his heart. And then his lung collapsed and it all went down hill from there....
I miss him so much. It will be bizarre to have Christmas at his house this year without him there. I love him. I miss him. Yet I am so glad I was fortunate enough to spend so much time with him in my lifetime and I was able to see him before he passed away, making him laugh and smile while he was in the hospital. I am so fortunate that I have an incredibly close and strong family, a great network of friends and colleagues that are supportive, and professors who are compassionate and understanding.
I am fortunate because I knew Clyde. Because he was my great uncle, my buddy.
And I miss him.
It's surreal. And it happened. He's gone...my Uncle Clyde has passed away. He is the first person in my family (that I am close to and know) that has passed. And it makes me so sad! I mean duh, it makes me sad, but it's just so bizarre. I don't really know how to handle it, ya know?
Last year I wrote a blog about an assortment of things and in it I mentioned Uncle Clyde:
"My Dot Dot (that's my grandmother's name) and Aunt Phyllis are staying in Chattanooga for about 2 months because my "Uncle" Clyde (not really my uncle but he's like my grandmothers brother so we call him that) is in very poor health and they're afraid he may not last too much longer...it really makes me sad. I've only had 3 people I know die and I was around 12 when my Great Grandmother Ruby died, about 15 or 16 when my Great Uncle David died and 21 when my mentor Dale McGillard died. I've never been to a funeral-and I don't really want to, as horrible as that sounds. But I think when my Uncle Clyde passes I will. I think it's time. We have always had Christmas (and sometimes Thanksgiving) every year on my dad's side at Uncle Clyde's house. He used to chain smoke in his kitchen and watch birds in his backyard. He made the BEST food from scratch and could never tell you the recipes because they varied a little bit each time he made them! He always had at minimum 10 stray cats he would feed on his back porch. He's got every Disney movie (either on DVD, VHS, or both) EVER MADE on his shelves. he used to play the organ and do the score board for the local church down the hill. He collects a bunch of knick knacks and has the most comfortable guest bed on the planet. His sense of humor has and always will stay intact. When we would visit my dad on his weekends we would always go visit Uncle Clyde and swing on his rickety porch swing and climb his knobby tree in the front yard. I learned to throw a Frisbee in his back yard and have some fond memories that my dad and I shared at that house-like our early morning Dunkin' Donuts and t.v. time when I was a child...Now he is 5' 10" and weighs barely 100 lbs. He is on oxygen 24/7 and can no longer smoke. He doesn't have much energy to cook or do much now. He still watches his birds though. And now he's getting in to RetroTV, lol. I think he's starting to look back on his life. He's told Dot Dot that he's ready whenever. I think that's very admirable seeing that he's got prostate cancer, CHF, I think COPD, along with a few other ailments. He just turned 76 about 2 weeks ago. After all of that I listed above, I still don't know much about him. I asked my Dot Dot some questions and this is what I got: His middle name is Marvin. He was engaged twice but never married. He used to have dark hair and eyes and has always been a bean pole. Now he's got no hair and looks like a mix of Jiminy Cricket and Ghandi-both smiley and happy-and still is a bean pole. He's always loved the heat (he never had air conditioning in his house until Dot Dot JUST put in a wall unit 2 weeks ago). His mother lived just down the street from him before she died a few years ago. He used to play the organ at the church down the hill from him. He was born in Chattanooga and lived in Harrison starting in 1949. I think when he passes he'll pass just fine. Quietly, in no pain, and probably in his sleep. I sit her crying a bit thinking about it, but I know that he's okay and ready to meet his maker so I can't be sad for him. I'll just miss him and Christmas will never be the same without him..."
And then he, being the stubborn man he is, lives to 77! He got better for a while and then got weaker very quickly. He refused home care. He ended up getting a stint put in his heart. And then his lung collapsed and it all went down hill from there....
I miss him so much. It will be bizarre to have Christmas at his house this year without him there. I love him. I miss him. Yet I am so glad I was fortunate enough to spend so much time with him in my lifetime and I was able to see him before he passed away, making him laugh and smile while he was in the hospital. I am so fortunate that I have an incredibly close and strong family, a great network of friends and colleagues that are supportive, and professors who are compassionate and understanding.
I am fortunate because I knew Clyde. Because he was my great uncle, my buddy.
And I miss him.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Huh....
Remember this blog?
Well-as of this summer Domestic Violence month has now been switched from November to October.
So...
If any of you are still interested in donating or helping out-NOW IS THE TIME!! I have collected a good box full of goods that should really benefit.
Think of it as your good deed for the day and be pro-active in helping others!
PASS IT ON!
Well-as of this summer Domestic Violence month has now been switched from November to October.
So...
If any of you are still interested in donating or helping out-NOW IS THE TIME!! I have collected a good box full of goods that should really benefit.
Think of it as your good deed for the day and be pro-active in helping others!
PASS IT ON!
Friday, September 30, 2011
October Goals
There's so much going on in October I don't know how I'll squeeze it all in!
*School
-Submit abstract to ASA conference.
-Make all As on projects/papers/assignments.
-FALL BREAK (a much needed break indeed)!
-Attend the Undergraduate Symposium (and potentially present).
*Family
-Jen & Mom come to visit!
-Visit with Aunt Lynn during FFFF weekend (see below).
-Fall Family Fun Fest (FFFF) at the end of October! This is when ALL of the family on my mom's side gets together for food, lots of laughing, and games.
*Fun
-Attend the SlutWalk in Nashville with friends from school.
-Continue raising awareness and supplies for the battered shelter in my town.
-Celebrate Tonya's 25th birthday!
-Celebrate Halloween!
-Read The Help by Kathryn Stockett
It may not look too busy but my October (at least work load for school) is intense!
*School
-Submit abstract to ASA conference.
-Make all As on projects/papers/assignments.
-FALL BREAK (a much needed break indeed)!
-Attend the Undergraduate Symposium (and potentially present).
*Family
-Jen & Mom come to visit!
-Visit with Aunt Lynn during FFFF weekend (see below).
-Fall Family Fun Fest (FFFF) at the end of October! This is when ALL of the family on my mom's side gets together for food, lots of laughing, and games.
*Fun
-Attend the SlutWalk in Nashville with friends from school.
-Continue raising awareness and supplies for the battered shelter in my town.
-Celebrate Tonya's 25th birthday!
-Celebrate Halloween!
-Read The Help by Kathryn Stockett
It may not look too busy but my October (at least work load for school) is intense!
You think I can handle it?
September Goals-completed
Alright-September has been CRAZY busy with school and stress but I think I accomplished a bit more than I thought I would-let's see!
*School/Research
-Officially select thesis topic (!!!!) and thesis committee. COMPLETE! Though I'm not ready to fully reveal details until I get approved ;]
-Continue research with Aday. COMPLETE-still working on it though not with as much vigor since we're starting my thesis stuff. We're also starting a new project to test out my thesis design before I do my proposal.
-Make all A's on any projects/readings/papers/homework due. FAIL-I made one B...*grumble grumble*
-Meet with Jaime to start potential research. FAIL-we probably won't be able to jump start this until next semester but we're both really interested in the idea(s).
*Books
-Finish The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larrson. COMPLETE! And it was so good. I really enjoyed this series.
-Start and finish Sex in the South: Unbuckling the Bible Belt by Suzi Parker. FAIL-I decided to read another book instead (see my additional).
**Additional: Start and finish I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelo. A great read!**
*Work
-Volunteer in the Alzheimer's Walk. COMPLETE-KINDA-I was sick with a bad cold so I didn't technically do the walk (though I had planned on it!) but I did raise about $85 in the process so I'm counting it!
-Make baked goods for the Alzheimer's Bake Sale. COMPLETE-I made some yummy lemon-poppy seed muffins.
*Home
-Get a new couch (finally!!) COMPLETE-and it's gorgeous!
-Finish hanging pictures in living room. FAIL-I am having a hard time trying to figure out that last picture I want to hang. It sounds silly but I just want it to be a good one, ya know? Maybe this weekend when "I have more time" I'll check it out and actually do it!
-Upload updated photos to the blog. FAIL-you want to know why? Because our apt. is flilthy and I don't want the blogosphere seeing it in this condition, LOL!
*Family
-Visit my Aunt Lynn & Uncle Clyde at some point (both of who are aren't doing well in their health and I am worried about them...more on that in a later blog). DRAW-I was able to see Uncle Clyde but not Aunt Lynn. I should be able to see her in October when I come down for FFFF (see October goals for details).
-Send sister her birthday present. She's 29! COMPLETE-I got her some cute personalized stationary with her initials on it-she loves stationary just as much as I do so I really hope she liked it! I also got her a card and an anniversary card since her wedding anny. is only a few days after her birthday.
*Fun
-Sign up for the Nashville Slut Walk. COMPLETE-and I can't WAIT for it! A bunch of us from school are going and a handful are making signs saying things like "Got consent?" and "We didn't ask for it" to help support those of sexual assault. I'll blog about that later once I do it!
-Start to organize a donation drive for battered women/domestic abuse victims here in my county. COMPLETE! Did you check out this blog? You really should...it's for a GREAT cause!! This is an ongoing project until November so I'll be bringing it up off and on throughout the next 2 months.
-Start the coaster crafts (found on my pinterest.com page). FAIL-again...no time! Maybe over Fall Break?
**Additional-A bunch of the Grad students got together for some Mexican, mingling and Margaritas! It was great fun.**
So the tally is:
COMPLETE- 9 FAIL- 6 ADDITIONAL- 2 DRAW- 1
All in all not too bad but you can clearly see where my priorities are falling *cough SCHOOL cough*!
I'm going to take it easier in October, yes?
*School/Research
-Make all A's on any projects/readings/papers/homework due. FAIL-I made one B...*grumble grumble*
-Meet with Jaime to start potential research. FAIL-we probably won't be able to jump start this until next semester but we're both really interested in the idea(s).
*Books
-Start and finish Sex in the South: Unbuckling the Bible Belt by Suzi Parker. FAIL-I decided to read another book instead (see my additional).
**Additional: Start and finish I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelo. A great read!**
*Work
*Home
-Finish hanging pictures in living room. FAIL-I am having a hard time trying to figure out that last picture I want to hang. It sounds silly but I just want it to be a good one, ya know? Maybe this weekend when "I have more time" I'll check it out and actually do it!
-Upload updated photos to the blog. FAIL-you want to know why? Because our apt. is flilthy and I don't want the blogosphere seeing it in this condition, LOL!
*Family
-Visit my Aunt Lynn & Uncle Clyde at some point (both of who are aren't doing well in their health and I am worried about them...more on that in a later blog). DRAW-I was able to see Uncle Clyde but not Aunt Lynn. I should be able to see her in October when I come down for FFFF (see October goals for details).
*Fun
-Start the coaster crafts (found on my pinterest.com page). FAIL-again...no time! Maybe over Fall Break?
**Additional-A bunch of the Grad students got together for some Mexican, mingling and Margaritas! It was great fun.**
So the tally is:
COMPLETE- 9 FAIL- 6 ADDITIONAL- 2 DRAW- 1
All in all not too bad but you can clearly see where my priorities are falling *cough SCHOOL cough*!
I'm going to take it easier in October, yes?
Thursday, September 15, 2011
We can all help
This summer, I took an entire class completely devoted to topics on violence within the family. It is sad that there have been so many victims and so much hurt that courses and seminars are being taught regarding it! What was once normal practice, and then a taboo topic has finally made its way into the limelight of the criminal justice system and into mainstream societal issues.
So today, for previous victims and for those who want to help prevent further victims, I am dedicating this blog to facts about violence against women in the family setting, information on where/how to seek help, and asking for your help in making a change.
**NOTE: This won't be a happy/cheery blog but it doesn't need to be; there is nothing happy or cheery about this type of abuse. But this is not about male bashing or making you think all partners are out to hurt you-it's about taking a stand, making those around aware of the prevalence and issues we face, and letting those who may be in these circumstances know that they are not alone.**
Does this not astound you? It makes me sick to my stomach. The worse part is: we have probably all come into contact with a victim of this type of abuse, whether we knew it or not. So I am here to take a stand against it. I am speaking out, trying to inform the masses about these issues and how they need to stop. There is enough violence in the world without intimate partners getting involved in the mix. If we push the idea of the family being the safe-haven then let us MAKE IT a safe haven!
I hope I raised you up! I hope you realize the prevalence of these issues! I hope you want to HELP! I hope you took notice, understood that this is much more common than most realize, and that there are always ways that you can help!
November is the National Domestic Violence Awareness month so let’s get some donations/volunteering and knowledge under our belts by then!
Remember to share the love,
JR
So today, for previous victims and for those who want to help prevent further victims, I am dedicating this blog to facts about violence against women in the family setting, information on where/how to seek help, and asking for your help in making a change.
**NOTE: This won't be a happy/cheery blog but it doesn't need to be; there is nothing happy or cheery about this type of abuse. But this is not about male bashing or making you think all partners are out to hurt you-it's about taking a stand, making those around aware of the prevalence and issues we face, and letting those who may be in these circumstances know that they are not alone.**
Some Facts
* Approximately 4.8 million intimate partner rapes and physical assaults are perpetrated against U.S. women annually, and approximately 2.9 million intimate partner physical assaults are committed against U.S. men annually. These findings suggest that intimate partner violence is a serious criminal justice and public health concern. (NVAW Survey 2000).
*Violence against women includes but is not limited to the following: 1) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence occurring in the family, including battering; sexual abuse of children in the household, dowry-related violence, marital rape, female genital mutilation and other traditional practices harmful to women, non-spousal violence, and violence related to exploitation. 2) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence occurring within the general community including rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and intimidation at work and educational institutions and elsewhere, trafficking in women, and forced prostitution. 3) Physical, sexual, and psychological violence perpetrated or condoned by the State, wherever it occurs.
*1 Woman is killed every 7.4 hours by an intimate partner in the United States. (FBI, 2005)
*Among women aged 15 to 44 years, violence against women accounts for more death and disability than cancer, malaria, traffic injuries, and war put together.
Does this not astound you? It makes me sick to my stomach. The worse part is: we have probably all come into contact with a victim of this type of abuse, whether we knew it or not. So I am here to take a stand against it. I am speaking out, trying to inform the masses about these issues and how they need to stop. There is enough violence in the world without intimate partners getting involved in the mix. If we push the idea of the family being the safe-haven then let us MAKE IT a safe haven!
Know the Red Flags of a Battering Personality*:
1. Quick Involvement
2. Jealousy
3. Controlling Behavior
4. Unrealistic Expectations
5. Isolation
6. Blames Others for Problems
7. Blames Others for Feelings
8. Hypersensitivity
9. Cruelty to Animals and Children
10. Playful use of Force During Sex
11. Verbal Abuse
12. Rigid Sex Roles
13. Sudden Mood Swings
14. Past Battering
15. Threats of Violence
*source: Legal Aid Society of Middle Tennessee and the project for victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Arkansas
Where to seek help/shelter:
1) Call the 24 hour, 7 days a week National DV hotline: http://www.thehotline.org/
2) Search for shelters and help in your area: http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
3) Share your voice. Remember: you are not alone: http://www.thehotline.org/category/share-your-voice/
Would you like to help?
Here are a few ways how:
1) Spread this blog, and other sites you've found information from to as many people as possible. NO-I am not trying to get a huge following. I am trying to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE! The more people that see this and at least read about it, the better.
2) Volunteer at your local domestic violence/sexual assault shelter. It is great help, a fantastic learning experience and a good deed for all involved. There are many tasks and each city or surrounding area would greatly appreciate it!
3) Donate! I've got a sidebar set up on the right hand side for donations-these will go directly to the domestic violence/sexual assault center right in my town. The funds can be used for buying items on their wish list or can be given directly as cash-YOU decide! If you don't donate to my funds-donate to the local shelter where you're from! Donations of any kind whether in monetary or goods are all helpful and beneficial to those in need.
I hope I raised you up! I hope you realize the prevalence of these issues! I hope you want to HELP! I hope you took notice, understood that this is much more common than most realize, and that there are always ways that you can help!
November is the National Domestic Violence Awareness month so let’s get some donations/volunteering and knowledge under our belts by then!
Remember to share the love,
JR
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